


Red Thread

by thirlmalik



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dark Rey (Star Wars), Dominant Rey, Emperor Kylo Ren, Empress Rey, Eventual Smut, F/M, Post-TLJ, Protective Kylo Ren, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn, That's My Kink, Throne Sex, kylo's kink is rey in dresses, okay that's my kink too, rey and kylo fight together a lot, someone in the first order has a PLAN, there's even a lesbian in it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2020-02-16 17:36:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18696157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirlmalik/pseuds/thirlmalik
Summary: "You're drunk, Kylo Ren.""And you're going to be my empress one day, Rey."The one where Rey is captured by the First Order and ends up becoming their empress.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all. I wrote a Star Wars fanfic. It isn't One Direction. Here's an excerpt.

"I'm probably just drunk, but you feel it too, don't you?" 

What is she supposed to say? Yes, I'm in love with you? Please don't ever leave me?

"I... I do." She stammers. Maker, she's pathetic. 

He steps closer to her. "You drive me fucking crazy." 

Rey literally gapes at him. She feels so useless, her arms limp at her sides. Her mind betrays her and decides to say "how so?"

He takes another step closer. They're only a foot apart at the most, and Rey doesn't know if she wants to back up against the wall to create distance or close it off completely.


	2. Chapter One

The thick forest whirs past Rey as she speeds toward an unknown destination. Anywhere far from the Resistance base will do. She loves the members of the Resistance, she really does. It's just that sometimes she feels out of place. She can't quite put her finger on it, but something always seems a bit off.

To help ease this feeling, Rey meditates. She wanders into different parts of the forest and sometimes sits for hours, just feeling the Force flow around her. It's calming and it strengthens her connection with the Force. 

She's learned that they definitely aren't alone on this planet. Hundreds of thousands of life forms radiate their energy for her to feel. She's warned Leia of this, but she barely batted an eye, so Rey doesn't think about it more than she should.

Being so far away from base on her own should frighten her, but eerily it doesn't. The stillness of Devaron consumes her when she meditates. It's too easy to drink it in and get lost in it for a while. 

Rey stops her speeder and parks it, eyeing a large moss-covered boulder to sit on. It's off the ground and shaded by heavy foliage. She sighs to herself and climbs onto it before settling into a meditative position. Her lightsaber hangs at her hip as she balances herself, the new dual-ended weapon thrumming against her. It had taken her over an entire day to construct, but she did it and it's hers. Wielding a saber that fights like her staff was necessary, and she made sure to take plenty of notes from Chewie before doing so. 

She hopes she doesn't need to use the weapon any time soon. 

Rey loses herself in the web of the Force, the galaxy around her connecting and bringing pieces together, planet by planet. The Resistance base is calm, the morning sun giving everyone the relaxed feeling of starting a new day; having a clean slate.

The civilization miles away is bustling with activity, early morning farming and peddling in full-swing. Rey wants to meet the village's inhabitants, wants to learn their language and way of life. Since she left Jakku she's been eager to learn anything and everything about different civilizations. The idea of life outside of Jakku fascinates her more than anything. Seeing the different species interact with each other brings her a sense of joy she wasn't aware she was capable of feeling. Curiosity, she thinks. That joy is curiosity. 

She thinks of Finn, who came from a similar situation. No family, no diversity, doing everything needed to stay alive. His circumstances were different, but the concept is the same. 

Now both of them have a place to call home and an entire galaxy to explore. The small realizations like this are what connects Rey to the Light. She holds onto that Light and tucks it away into part of her brain, sealing it off to begin a new process. 

She thinks of Kylo Ren.

Kylo Ren murdered Han Solo.

Kylo Ren wiped out half of the Resistance in one battle. 

He nearly murdered Finn.

An intrusive thought screams at her and she can't help but think 'Ben Solo saved your life and looked at you like you meant something'.

She always struggles with this part of meditation, bringing the Light and Dark together equally. Thinking of Kylo Ren should fill her veins with darkness. Instead, her mind leaps to Ben Solo, the unmasked son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, the man who killed his own master to keep Rey alive.

The man who wanted her.

Rey's eyes shoot open as the last thought echos through her head. 

He wanted her.

Being wanted was a foreign concept on Jakku. It's still a strange sensation for her to have. 

She looks around at the now unnaturally still forest. Her legs unfold and she slides down the front of the boulder, quietly taking her lightsaber from her side. Rey feels around through the Force and recognizes a group of life forms speeding directly toward her current location. How had she missed them?

She frantically jumps on her speeder and kicks it on, taking off through the thick trees and vines. Whoever these people are, they aren't Force-sensitive, so she does have that advantage over them. Carefully avoiding them, she zig-zags her path and races toward the base. This isn't a group of people coming to praise her.

They're coming for her capture.

She smashes the comm link on her speeder to enable call mode and hears a woman's voice come through. 

"Rey?" It's Lieutenant Connix.

"I'm being chased by a group of speeders and I sense they're trying to capture me. I'm too far from base and they're getting too close." She rambles quickly. 

"What? I didn't get all of that. Are you okay?" Her voices crackles through the shitty comm and Rey grunts in agitation.

"People are trying to capture me. If it's the First Order I don't stand a chance." She practically yells. She hears a speeder nearing her and her heart drops. 

A man's voice comes through and she identifies it as Poe immediately. "Rey, we're sending people out now. We've got your location from the tracker on your speeder. We're not letting you go anywhere." Something hits the back of the speeder and nearly sends Rey flying onto the ground beneath her from fear. 

"They're too close, Poe." She briefly looks behind her and sees three 'troopers on speeders in the distance. "Stormtroopers." Another bolt hits her speeder and a piece flies off, making it slow down a considerable amount.

Poe must try to get through to her, but the connection dies and Rey is left alone. The troopers' energy in the Force nears her own and she braces herself for battle. Rey suddenly stops her speeder and leaps off of it to ignite her saber and get into battle stance. Before she has time to second-guess her actions the group of 'troopers are in front of her, blasters aimed and ready. Five more 'troopers appear and Rey internally curses. She's doomed. 

The hot, blue beams extending from either end of her saber hilt crackle and reflect on the armor in front of her as she stands her ground and waits for them to make the first move. One 'trooper fires and Rey easily deflects it with her saber. 

They're using stun guns.

Her fighting skills have only slightly improved since her last battle in Snoke's throne room. Teaching herself the ways of the Force hasn't been an easy task. Mentality is most important and she knew that from the start. It's the thing she's focused on the most in the past six months and in this moment she is incredibly grateful for that.

Another bolt comes at her and she easily freezes it in mid-air. 

That skill is one she isn't sure how she acquired, but she's glad to have it. When she would train with Finn he would shoot a training blaster and she would deflect and dodge his shots. One session they were really getting into the fight and Rey somehow willed the bolt to stop in its path. The look in Finn's eyes mimicked her own as they just stared at the bright light between them, still vibrating with anger but somehow stuck in one spot. Since then, she's memorized the feeling she gets while freezing blaster bolts and accesses it when needed.

Now is most definitely one of those times.

She flicks the bolt back at a 'trooper before another one comes shooting at her. Rey has barely deflected it before two more come, which she also sends hurtling back toward the shooters. 

She advances a couple feet, fighting off blaster bolt after blaster bolt, baring her teeth the entire time. The 'troopers who are still conscious don't back down. No form of fighting has ever worked as well for her as classic melee, so that's what she turns to. 

Her foot takes out the legs of one 'trooper as her saber deflects a bolt and amputates the arm of another 'trooper. She feels a bolt coming near her back and freezes it when it's only inches from her. She twirls the saber to her side and takes out two more 'troopers, leaving two 'troopers in front of her. 

Maybe she can do this. 

Just as she finishes that thought, a dark ship comes into sight and Rey knows this is it for her. The ship descends as she takes down the last two 'troopers and Rey makes a beeline for one of their speeders. Trees behind her crack like twigs under the weight of the ship as it lands and she takes off toward the Resistance base. Where are they and why aren't they in her presence?

Rey hears another speeder start up and before she can even say the ship is out of sight, a bolt hits her speeder and disables it entirely, sending her tumbling to the ground. Her ribs crack against a tree trunk and her head hits something hard. All she knows is that someone is walking towards her and they definitely aren't with the Resistance. 

The last thing she sees is a smug face before she loses consciousness.

xxx

When Rey wakes up her cheek is pressed against cool metal and her hands are restricted by something. The light makes her head pound when she opens her eyes. Pushing through the pain, Rey takes her hands, which she realizes are cuffed, to help herself sit up. A searing pain rips through her torso as she moves herself against the wall of what appears to be a prisoner's cell. Her mind feels slow and groggy as she looks around, the processing time in her brain delayed by a couple seconds.

Dark metal. Prison cell. Handcuffs. No lightsaber.

Then she remembers the stormtroopers and being on a speeder and losing grip of it. Anything after that is blank to her and she realizes she's been taken prisoner by the First Order. She looks down at the parts of her arms that aren't wrapped and sees multiple cuts and bruises, some covered in dirt or moss. 

R'iia, she's going to die from infection in here. 

Rey gently leans the back of her head against the wall and wonders how long she's been in here. It can't have been that long. Some of her cuts seem to have just recently stopped bleeding. 

Her fingers trace over her top lip and she feels a massive swollen cut placed vertically on it. It's tender to the touch and Rey winces when she brushes over it. She moves the pads of her fingers to her cheekbones, the left one slightly scraped, then feels her forehead. A hot fluid comes into contact with her hand and she removes it to find her fingertips caked in blood.

So she's definitely going to die, then. 

The cut must go from her right temple to the middle of her hairline and most definitely goes to the bone. She's undoubtedly concussed and knows that the pain in her torso is the result of broken ribs. She'd broken ribs multiple times on Jakku while scavenging in old Imperial ships. The healing time cost her multiple meals.

Rey wipes her fingertips on her leggings and closes her eyes. Water is the only thing she wants right now and she knows she's not going to get it.

The memory of telling Connix and Poe she was being chased comes to mind and she relaxes slightly, knowing that the Resistance has some idea of where she is. Maybe she'll get out of this. Maybe she won't die in here.

Her clouded mind begins to shut down and Rey feels herself falling back to sleep.

xxx

This time when Rey wakes, it's due to loud footsteps echoing throughout her cell. Her brain catches up and notices that they're coming toward her from down the hall. Maybe she can finally get some water.

She pushes herself away from the wall and leans forward to see who is approaching her. If possible, her mouth runs even drier than it was before when a tall, black figure comes into view. 

There's no mask, but she would know this man anywhere.

Kylo Ren.

"You." He states, staring at Rey as he opens the cell with a flick of his wrist. "Come with me." She just stares back at him, unsure of whether or not she should trust him. "Did you not hear me?" He sounds annoyed. "Get up." 

Rey uses the bench next to her to help prop herself up and audibly groans when she begins to rise from the ground. "Fuck." She nearly cries, finally managing to become fully vertical. Tears are welled in her eyes as she fights off the pain in her head and ribs. She walks toward Kylo and refuses to make eye contact, instead staring at the floor in front of her.

"Look at me." He commands. She hesitantly lifts her face for him to see and she watches as he looks over her injuries. "Fucking assholes." He swears under his breath. Rey isn't sure what he's referring to but she knows she's uncomfortable under his gaze. "How did you get these injuries?" About two feet of space lies between them and Rey can't help but wish they were on opposite ends of the hall. 

His question rumbles through her mind for a couple seconds and she tries to piece the words together to create a comprehendible sentence. "Um." She squeezes her eyes shut and forgets what the question was while in the middle of trying to remember.

"How did you get these injuries." He repeats, this time in a firmer tone. 

Injuries. Rey, how did you get hurt. He wants to know what happened that made you hurt.

"A, um." She pauses, searching for the words. "Someone hit my speeder with, uh, something." The words come out of her at a glacial speed and she sees a shift in Kylo's expression. It turns from annoyed to angry and Rey doesn't remember the question anymore. 

"You're concussed. Severely. Can you walk far?" His tone is seething with rage and Rey nods quickly, despite it making her head throb. The last thing she needs is Kylo hurting her over something she can't control. "Come with me." He turns around and starts walking in the direction he came from. Rey follows suit and lets him lead so she can let the walls ripple around her. She knows for a fact they aren't supposed to look like that. 

They reach a turbolift at the end of the hall and two 'troopers stand on either side, not even flinching when Kylo brushes past them to enter the lift. Rey steps in with him and the LED lights inside it pulse through her head, making the pain nearly unbearable. Her eyes squeeze shut again and she slumps against the wall. She's been through worse. She can do this. 

The lift stops and Rey hears the door slide open. Kylo steps out and Rey opens her eyes so she can step out too. Her vision is about to white out. She can feel it. "Can we stop for a second?" She stands still and keeps her eyes shut, her body swaying slightly as it tries to balance her weight while dealing with a brain injury. If Kylo Ren wants to get angry at her for holding him up, then so be it. She cannot afford to fall and hit her head again. 

Instead of the angry yelling she is expecting, she feels large hands on her shoulders. "We're almost to the med bay. A two minute walk tops. Can you do that?" 

She opens her eyes to see his face washed in what looks like... sympathy? This must be a delusion she's seeing in her cell. A hallucination. Extreme thirst and severe injuries can cause those. She's had them before.

"This isn't real." She says to herself, keeping her eyes on Kylo's face. His brow furrows slightly and he scans her features, looking for something that Rey isn't sure of. "Kylo Ren wants me dead. This isn't real." The words calm her as she says them aloud and she closes her eyes again, not wanting to look at the hallucination in front of her. If she could just lie down on the bench in here and go to sleep, everything would be fine. She goes to sit on it and instead of landing on a metal slat, her biceps are gripped and she's being pulled forward and upright. 

"They could've killed you." Kylo murmurs to himself. Right. The delusion. If it was a delusion, then why isn't she able to sit down without being pulled back up? Rey opens her eyes again and sees a couple of stormtroopers walk by. She's actually in front of Kylo Ren.

"You're in front of me. Like, actually here." She slowly confirms. "Whatever you're going to do to me won't hurt as much as this light does." Her mouth cracks into a small smile and she lets out a single sigh as a laugh. "Do your worst, Kylo Ren." He looks at the floor and curses something Rey can't hear before moving one arm to her upper back and one to the back of her thighs. 

He lifts her up to carry her and she lets out a soft shriek of pain, her ribs crushed against his torso. They start down the long, sleek hallway, Rey's head lolling against Kylo's upper arm. Any injury she's had in the past has never made her this foggy. If she has permanent brain damage, whoever did this to her is going to live a life of hell. 

After a minute or two they stop moving and Kylo is setting her down on a firm bed. 

"She's severely concussed, probably has some broken ribs, and her wounds need thoroughly cleaned. Comm me when she's been taken care of." A droid and two medical officers are standing next to the bed and nod at Kylo. He gives her one last glance before exiting the room, the door sliding shut behind him. 

Why would he want her to heal if he sent his own 'troopers after her? 

"Do you know where you are?" One of the officers asks her as they put on a pair of synthetic gloves. The other officer goes to the opposite side of the bed and starts unraveling her arm wraps. 

"I'm with the First Order." Rey responds. Truthfully, she doesn't know where she is. It might be the Finalizer, but she isn't positive. 

"Do you know how you got these injuries?" 

She swallows through a pained grunt as the other officer peels the wrap off of a particularly tender wound. "I-I was chased." Her mind is tearing itself apart trying to form the words to tell a decent story about what happened on Devaron. "There were speeders. And 'troopers."

"Were you on a speeder as well?" The officer asking questions begins unraveling the other arm wrap as the officer on her right starts to cut off her top. 

"Yes." 

You were on a speeder in the forest of Devaron being chased. Stormtroopers were chasing you. You killed all of them.

"I killed them." 

Both officers still their hands and look at each other. "Who?" The officer on her right asks.

"The Stormtroopers chasing me."

You killed them then took one of their speeders. Poe sent people after you. They didn't come in time. A ship came before they got to you.

"A big ship landed behind me and I tried to get away. It was your ship." Her tone is icy but the officers continue working on ridding her of her clothing. 

"How did you try to get away?"

"A speeder." 

Something hit your speeder and it died. You got thrown off of it. Someone walked toward you.

"I got thrown off of it. Someone came toward me but I don't remember." Her words start to feel too hard to verbalize, like she can't get them out. 

"She must have hit her head when she hit the ground." One officer says to the other. 

"Where were you when this happened?" The officer on her right asks. Her top has been discarded and her pants are halfway off of her. Her breast band keeps her modest, but she knows they're going to remove it eventually. 

"Forest." Is the only thing she can think to say. 

"That explains the dirt." Left officer huffs. He grabs something from the tray next to the bed and presses it against the gash on Rey's forehead. Stinging pain moves through her as the liquid sanitizes it and she screams. Across the room, medical utensils fly off the shelf and onto the floor.

A strange silence fills the room and Rey realizes the medical officers weren't aware of her Force-sensitivity. 

"She's like Ren." Right officer whispers. "Is this-"

"I think so." Left officer interrupts. "Did you hear of any plans to capture her? I didn't think Ren wanted to take her prisoner."

"I have a feeling Ren didn't have anything to do with this." 

Another round of sanitizing liquid is pressed against Rey's forehead and she sees stars before seeing nothing at all.

xxx

This time when Rey wakes up, she feels much cleaner and slightly less foggy. Her eyes crack open and she finds herself in a dimly lit grey room. A med bay.

She looks down at her body and finds she's wearing a rough, grey medical gown and dark grey socks. Her arms are wrapped in what appears to be medical tape and bacta patches and she feels a large bandage on her head. A bacta patch is wrapped around her torso as well, evidently being used to help heal her aching ribs. 

How long she's been unconscious is a mystery to her. The room is empty, save for a droid, and she doesn't hear anyone in the hall. 

"Hello?" Her voice is scratchy when she speaks to the droid. 

"Are you in need of assistance?" 

"How long have I been in here?" She asks. The words are difficult to process when she wants to say them. Did she speak to people earlier? 

"You have been in this medical unit for eleven hours, three minutes, and forty-eight seconds." The automated voice responds. 

Eleven hours. You've been in here for eleven hours. You were in a prison cell. You've been gone for more than eleven hours. 

"How did I get in here?" The memory of leaving her cell and coming to the med bay is nonexistent. Someone had to have taken pity on her and brought her here. Maybe a defective stormtrooper?

"Emperor Ren brought you here. You were severely injured."

What? 

"Kylo Ren?" She sits up in the bed and immediately regrets it. Her head spins and her ribs ache even more. Her forehead comes to rest in her hand and she winces. "What did he tell you to do when I woke up?" 

"I was instructed to alert him of your awakening. He is on his way here now." 

Rey's heart leaps into her throat and starts pounding. If he brought her here to have her injuries taken care of, then surely he won't torture her? He could just be raising a bantha for slaughter, though. 

The last time she saw Kylo, he had asked her to join him in ruling the galaxy. She left him slumped on the floor and only looked back once. 

Now, though, she doesn't know his intentions with her. He had lured her to the Supremacy so he could try to turn her to the Dark. That was half a standard year ago. Today he could very well be set on executing her. After all, what good would she do being on the ship? She's an official enemy of the First Order. It's a miracle she wasn't left to succumb to her injuries in that prisoner's cell. 

The door to the med room slides open and Rey raises her head to find Kylo standing there staring at her. 

"You're awake." He says neutrally, taking another step into the room. The door slides shut behind him and the droid goes back to the task it was doing before Rey started asking questions.

"Yes." She waits for him to bark an order or boast about capturing her, but neither response comes. 

Instead, he walks towards her and stops a couple feet from her bed. "Are you coherent?" Is that supposed to be an insult? 

By the look on his face, it must be an actual question. 

It takes a second or two to process words, but she thinks she's coherent. "Yes." 

His expression doesn't change even a little. "When you're ready for release, the droid will comm me. I'll be back then to retrieve you." He turns to leave and annoyance suddenly bubbles up in Rey's stomach.

"Wait." She snaps. Her thumb and index finger rest above both of her brows and she scrunches her nose in discomfort. His footsteps cease. "Why would you." She pauses to think. "Bring me to... here... if you are just going to, um, keep me. Prisoner." 

No noise comes from his direction and Rey assumes he left while she was trying to stammer out a question. "Tosser." She grumbles, easing herself back onto the mattress, eyes still closed. 

"I'm still in here." He says pointedly. Rey's eyes snap open. Sure enough, Kylo Ren is standing halfway between her and the exit. "You were going to die in that cell." 

Rey grows even more confused. "Why did you help? You're. You had me get... um..." R'iia, why can't she think of the word? Kylo stares back at her and waits. "Captured." 

He shakes his head and drags his gloved hand down the lower half of his face. 

"That mission wasn't mentioned to me or approved by me. Someone in the Order went rogue."


	3. Chapter Two

"What?" Rey asks incredulously. How could he not know about this? Isn't he the head of the entire Order? 

"I don't know who it was or what their motive was. From what I've gathered, the ship that was deployed was a conventional Xi-Class shuttle. The medics said you mentioned stormtroopers and that you killed all of them. No one returning to this ship around the time you got here was documented." He looks murderous and Rey is honestly frightened for whoever did this to her. "You have no memory of the person who brought you here?" 

"No." She wracks her brain for even a tiny feature she could mention, but she doesn't even remember being on a shuttle. "Don't you... have cameras?" 

He runs a hand through his hair and looks at the wall beyond Rey's bed.

"Any camera worth looking at was covered by a 'trooper before this happened. That 'trooper never came back." 

Rey just sits there. She assumed that if anyone within the Order wanted her to be taken prisoner, it would be the man standing in front of her. Apparently not.

"Is anyone, um," she pauses for what feels like the fiftieth time. "Trying to kill me?"

"I have no evidence that anyone under my surveillance is. General Hux was here the entire time as well. I received a bridge status report from him in the time you would've been on your way here. Whoever did this knew how not to get caught." It strikes Rey that the person who left her bleeding and bruised in that cell could very well be roaming around the ship right now.

"Are you keeping me here?" Her voice is small and she's embarrassed by how weak she sounds. Kylo stares at her blankly for a moment before responding.

"Until you're fit to return to Devaron." 

"You know where. The base is?" Panic floods her body. The Resistance needs to know so they have time to flee-

"We've known for months." 

Her thoughts stop. Months? "No attacks." It's not what she wanted to say, but apparently it gets her point across.

"They haven't been necessary." He quips.

She wants to ask more questions but she can tell he's not going to exploit much information. Knowing that he's willingly letting her go back to the Resistance is a glimmer of hope to hold onto. Isn't he afraid of the Resistance launching an attack on the First Order because of her capture? 

Since her judgment is fuzzy, she presses the issue. "If I go back they'll just attack."

He tilts his head slightly. "Who?"

"Us." She watches his jaw clench. 

"The Resistance is going to attack us if we keep you here." Kylo clasps his hands behind his back and begins to pace the length of the room. It's only when he does this that Rey notices he's discarded his usual cape. "If we keep you, they attack. If we send you back, they attack. Whoever did this wants the Resistance here." 

It makes sense once Rey processes it. Creating a situation in which the Resistance will undeniably start a war is genius if the person behind it wants the Resistance there. Taking the Last Jedi prisoner is brilliant. "Whoever did this is kind of... brilliant." Rey shrugs. "Like, in a war sense. I don't know if that made sense." 

"No, you're right. The person behind your imprisonment knew what they were doing. I just can't think of anyone on this ship with military tactics like that." Kylo stops dead in his tracks and looks over at Rey. "Everyone on the bridge listens to Hux every day. As much as I hate him, he knows what he's doing. I'll question every last one of them." 

"You think? That's it's one of them?" She swings her legs over the side of the bed and braces herself to stand up. The movement pains her but she has got to get out of this room. 

"Don't get up." He holds his hand out as if to stop her from doing so. She doesn't obey, standing up and taking a few steps toward him. "But yes. They're the only feasible suspects."

Rey blinks slowly and suddenly feels very self-conscious. She's not wearing anything under this gown. "Where are my clothes." She looks around for them but doesn't spot them. 

"There's some on the counter over there." He nods to where the droid is located and Rey looks to see a pile of black and grey fabric with a pair of black shoes next to it. 

Those are not the clothes Leia made for her.

"My clothes." She turns back to him and gets dizzy in the process. Kylo must notice because he walks over to the counter and grabs the pile for her. 

"Put these on and please, sit down. You have a brain injury, Rey. You have to take it easy." He hands her the pile and sets the boots on the floor next to her bed. 

"Why are you being nice." The clothes are heavy in her hands and Kylo's stare burns her flesh. 

"I'm not. I'm just making sure you don't end up dead. The Resistance would execute me at any chance they got." He holds eye contact while heading towards the door. "Now change into those and relax a little. I'll be back in five minutes." Rey doesn't have the chance to respond before the door is sliding shut behind him. 

She goes back over to the bed and sits on the edge of the mattress. She could make a run for it. Although, her mindset right now would probably get her caught before she even got anywhere. The location of the hangars is also a mystery. Trying to run is pointless. Plus, she would risk running into whoever put her in this position in the first place. If she ever finds out who did it she's going to make them wish they hadn't. 

Rey toes off the socks the medics gave her and carefully unsnaps the back of the gown, trying not to irritate her ribs. The cloth falls to the ground and she sits there, naked, staring at her knees. She traces the gash on her forehead through the bandage covering it. As she does, she sees an image of a girl slumped over on a metal floor. Blood is oozing from the girl's head and Rey gasps out loud when she realizes she's seeing herself. Whoever left her in that cell didn't care whether she lived or died. They just threw her in there and left. 

How is she able to see herself like this? Rey blinks back to the med bay and does her best to wrap a breast band around herself. It's awkward over the large bacta patch and she can't get it tight enough without severely hurting herself. "Kriff." She huffs, tossing it onto the bed. It's not like she has a large chest anyway. 

She grabs the underwear and slides it on by lying on her back and forcing herself to keep her torso stiff. Getting dressed would be a lot easier with some assistance. 

She was given a black, long-sleeved shirt with a thick body on it, the sleeves a thinner fabric. She pulls it over her head, attempting to avoid moving the bandage, and carefully tugs it down over the bacta patch around her center. There's a slight bulge under her shirt where the patch is, the sleeves also fitting against the lines of the patches on her arms, but other than that the shirt actually fits her. It's surprisingly soft and Rey wonders if this is what the stormtroopers wear under their armor. 

A pair of dark grey leggings is all that's left, other than the boots, and Rey struggles to get them past her ankles. She tells herself to just breathe through the pain and bend to pull them up. It doesn't work. A groan escapes her lips and she lies back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. The leggings are around her ankles, the legs of them folding into a pile at the foot of the bed. She's helpless. 

Frustration rears its head in her body and she covers her eyes to prevent any tears from slipping out. She can't think without getting a headache, she can't bend down to put pants on, she can barely process questions when asked, and she gets dizzy any time she turns her head. Rey doesn't think she's ever been this useless. 

The door to the room slides open and Rey moves to cover herself but moves too quickly, making her vision white out and her ribs sear with pain. "Shit." She halfway yells. A tear slides down her cheek and when her vision is back a second later, she sees Kylo standing there looking at the floor. 

"I'm sorry, I should've knocked." He says lowly. 

Rey wipes the tear from her cheek. "I. I can't... I can't get these on." She admits. He cautiously looks up at her and sees the leggings at the end of the bed. Thank the maker the underwear she was given is more like shorts than some of the underwear she's seen. 

"Uh." He looks at the droid like it can answer all of her problems. She's never seen this man look so uncomfortable. When he looks back at her he clenches his fist at his side and steps toward her. "Do you need, uh, assistance." 

R'iia, in this moment she almost wishes her injuries had just killed her.

"I hate this." She says to herself. Kylo must hear because he makes his way to her bed. "I can't bend." Another tear escapes her eye and Kylo definitely sees this one before she can wipe it away. He's seen her cry before, but this time it's because she's physically hurt. 

"You really shouldn't leave the med bay if you're this immobile." He hesitates before taking the leggings in his hands, soon pulling them up Rey's legs and to her waist. Her face is absolutely burning and she can tell that Kylo would rather be literally anywhere other than here.

"I'm sorry." She dries her cheeks and props herself up on her elbows, avoiding eye contact with Kylo, who has distanced himself from Rey considerably. "Thank you." He doesn't say anything and she's almost relieved. Putting this entire situation behind her sounds too tempting. 

Rey positions herself so she's once more sitting on the edge of the bed. She slides her feet into the boots and stands up, trying to look confident in her balance so Kylo lets her leave the room. It works.

"While you heal, I'm giving you quarters." He says, leading her into the hallway. 

Quarters? She's not going back into that horrid cell.

"What?" She asks out of shock more than confusion. 

"I'm going to have a medic stop by twice a day to check on your injuries and replace your bacta and bandages. You don't have permission to leave your quarters unless accompanied by me. If anyone says otherwise, don't go with them. Do you understand?" 

Kylo is giving her quarters and is having a medic check on her. She can only be with him outside of the room. Kylo Ren is taking care of her.

"Why are you taking care of me." The pieces don't fit together in her mind. A member of Kylo's own Order organized her imprisonment and left her for dead, and he's going against that plan? 

They round a corner and she hears him sigh softly. "Like I said, I'm trying to prevent you from dying." Something else hangs between them and Rey desperately wishes she could grab onto it and tuck it away for later; to analyze and pick apart. 

She doesn't respond to Kylo, instead remaining silent until they reach their destination. Kylo punches in a code on a keypad and the door slides open, revealing a moderately-sized living space. "You're going to stay here until you're well again." 

Rey steps inside and can feel herself gawking at the room. Her room on Devaron isn't nearly as nice as this, especially since she shares it with three other women. 

"This is where you put prisoners." She says, not believing that a single member of the First Order has the empathy needed to keep a prisoner in this room. 

"No, uh, not really. You're not a prisoner. More like, something that is going to be returned once it's fixed." Rey decides to brush off the objectification. She moves to run her fingers along the wooden black dresser along the right side of the room. She doesn't have anything to store in it, but it's still beautiful and in immaculate condition. 

"Where is the 'fresher?" The need to brush her teeth has been nagging at her since she woke up. 

Kylo points to the left side of the room. A door that basically blends in with the deep grey walls comes into Rey's line of sight and she nods. "Is there a, um." She clenches her fist while trying to remember what it's called. "Kriff." Her head starts to hurt and Kylo steps closer to her.

"Don't hurt yourself." It might be a joke, but Rey doesn't laugh. 

The word comes to mind and she snatches it before she can lose it. "Toothbrush." 

The side of Kylo's mouth twitches upward a bit. "I had toiletries sent to this room while you were in the med bay. You should have everything you need." Rey nods. "Just try to rest so you can heal quickly. The less time you're on this ship the better." 

The statement shouldn't bother her at all, but for some reason it does. Like he just can't wait to get rid of her.

"Where's my lightsaber." Leaving this ship without it isn't an option. That weapon took too damn long to build and she's much too attached to it to leave it behind. 

"I have no clue. I can try to find it, but it could be back on Devaron for all I know." 

"I made a new one. I won't. Um. I won't leave without it." Kylo's brow raises in interest. 

"You constructed a lightsaber?" 

She nods. Telling the Emperor of the First Order this information probably isn't wise. She does it anyway. "It's like my staff was. Like." Her arms outstretch as she uses her hands to visualize how large her ignited saber is. 

"It's dual-ended." Kylo explains for her. 

"Yes. That." This man probably thinks she's an idiot. Some dirty scavenger from Jakku comes onto his ship and can't even speak proper Basic because of a concussion. 

"Darth Maul had one of those."

"Who?" Based on the 'Darth' in his name, Rey assumes it's a Sith he's referring to. 

"A Sith. I'll tell you about him when you can remember the word toothbrush." Rey actually laughs at that, which takes both her and Kylo by surprise. 

She covers her mouth with her hand. "Sorry."

"No, it was a joke. I don't think people know when I'm joking, so no one ever reacts." The idea of Kylo actually joking with someone seems impossible. He always gives off a cold demeanor around everyone. Except for her. 

"Oh." She doesn't know what else to say. Kylo clears his throat and straightens his posture. 

"I'm going to leave. There's a datapad in the wall by the dresser if you need anything. Food, a drink, a medic, a book. Just request it on there." He waves his hand lazily at the tablet on the wall and turns to exit the room. "You can request a shuttle when you're going back to Devaron. I've approved any ship requests for this room's datapad." He walks into the hall and is out of sight without another word, the door enclosing Rey in the space alone. 

She can just tap on a screen and he'll have a ship ready for her? Could she contact the Resistance? 

Before she goes over to the datapad, she brushes her teeth and uses the toilet. Having her own bathroom is the most luxurious part of the room. Although, the bed that sits against the back wall could easily hold two people and looks fairly comfortable. 

She walks past it to check out the datapad. On top of not knowing how to use the thing, her thought process is too delayed to be able to comprehend what icon to push for what. She finally finds the communication option and taps on it. It takes her to a list of areas within the Finalizer that she can link to. There's a tiny icon in the bottom left part of the screen that says "custom link" and Rey taps on it. A screen with a keyboard pops up and it requests a comm link ID. Kriff. Rey has known the Resistance's Devaron ID since her third day there. Of course she needs to use it when she can't remember the whole thing. 

She looks around for something to write with so she can write down the part of the ID she does remember. Nothing is available and she slumps her shoulders in agitation. 

"Nine digits." She says to herself. "It's just nine digits. You know the first six." 

She isn't sure of the order of the last three. Her head keeps flipping them around and making her uncertain of which order is correct. Deciding to go with her gut, she puts in nine digits and presses the link icon. 

Nothing happens.

Rey rests her unwounded temple against the wall and wills herself not to cry. Why does she keep crying? Her emotions have been high and she wonders if this is a side effect of her injury. 

The datapad next to her crackles and she perks up. 

"This is Poe Dameron with the Resistance." His voice is professional and a bit on the cold side. Can they tell the call came from an Imperial ship?

"Poe." Rey says as quickly as she can manage. "It's Rey."

It takes a moment for him to respond. "Rey?!" He mumbles something to someone. "Rey, thank the Maker you're okay. Where are you?" 

Where am I. She knows the answer to this. Why can't she think of the ship name? 

"Um. I know the ship but I... I can't remember." 

"Are you okay? What happened?" 

"The Finalizer. That's it. Someone took me and brought me here. We... we don't know who."

"Who's we?" Poe asks. She can tell he's getting frustrated with the lack of information she's providing, but she can only say so much without getting a headache. 

"Kylo and I." 

Silence. 

"Rey." A voice she knows is Leia's comes through. "Are you with him right now?"

"He just left. I'm in quarters." Pause. "My quarters. I have quarters." 

She hears Poe tell Leia something about her not being totally coherent. 

"He gave you quarters? Why would he have you captured then give you quarters?" She asks. 

"He didn't know. Like, about the taking me thing. He wasn't told." The things she's saying don't even make sense to herself and she's suddenly self-conscious. They're going to think Kylo did this to her when really, he's the reason she's not dying, or already dead, in that cold cell. 

"He didn't know." Poe sounds like he doesn't believe her. They have to believe her. She doesn't know how to convince them otherwise. Would they believe it if she told him he saved her? Again? 

Kylo Ren has saved her life twice now. 

The realization hits her and nearly knocks the wind out of her. 

He's the Jedi killer, yet here he is saving the Last Jedi's life twice. 

What is that supposed to mean?

"Rey." Leia says firmly. She must have zoned out. 

"Yes. Sorry." She braces herself against the wall with one hand. Standing up this long is getting to her. 

"I need you to tell me everything that's happened to you." 

The task is one that she knows is going to end with her getting a massive headache, but she knows she has to do it. 

"I-I don't remember everything. But." She feathers her fingers over the bandage on her head. "On Devaron I got knocked off my speeder. I hit my head. I'm concussed. And, um. Broken ribs. I have broken ribs. And this big gash on my forehead." 

"Rey, we're going to come get you and get you treated-" Poe starts but Rey interrupts him.

"Kylo did that." Once again, the other end of the line is silent. "I woke up in a cell, and I'm not sure how I know this. You think I'm messed up now. I remember the walls, like, um, rippling. But I had blood all over me. And I don't know how I got there. I don't know how I got to the med bay, and. I think it was Kylo. I think Kylo took me there." 

"Kylo Ren removed you from your prisoner's cell and took you to the med bay to get treated." Leia repeats what Rey told her. Rey nods then remembers they can't see her. 

"Yes. He gave me quarters to heal in. Medics are coming twice a day. While I'm healing. I can call for a ship when I want to go home. To Devaron." Calling Devaron home leaves a sour taste in her mouth and she doesn't know why.

"He's letting you leave? He's got to have a motive behind this." Poe says. "Rey. Don't trust him. I know you're not in a good mindset right now but you cannot trust him."

While Poe is probably right, something inside her says the opposite. It doesn't make sense for him to go to all of this trouble just to have something terrible happen to her in the end.

Something pulls her to remain on the Finalizer and find out who was behind her capture. Whoever did it had a reason for not letting their own Emperor find out. "I have to stay here." Saying it out loud isn't as hard as she thought it would be. 

"What?! Rey, you cannot stay on that ship. You're in more danger the longer you're there." Poe starts to sound angry the longer he speaks. He's thinking rationally and Rey is thinking instinctively. She should listen to him. 

"I need to be here. I'm okay. Don't. Don't come after me." She ends the link and silence floods the room. 

"Fuck."

xxx

It takes three days for Rey to be able to speak a sentence longer than eight words without pausing to think. It takes her four days to be able to walk three laps around her room without getting dizzy. It takes five days for the gash on her head to heal into a scar that eerily resembles the one she gave Kylo. It takes six days for Kylo to come back to her. 

She's sitting on her bed meditating, which she has just started being able to do again without a headache attacking her thirty seconds into it. Sitting cross-legged doesn't pain her as much as it did and she can finally pull her hair into a ponytail without a bandage getting in the way. 

Rey senses Kylo before he even comes into her quarters, his aura surprisingly less Dark than she would have expected. Her eyes open when he knocks on the door. She flicks it open with the Force and when she sees him he's looking at her with a smidge of awe. 

Stepping into the room, he comments "you've gotten stronger." 

Rey uncrosses her legs and hangs them off the end of the mattress instead. "I've had nothing to do for six months except teach myself about the Force. The Resistance doesn't send me anywhere for some reason." Kylo moves toward the short dresser and surprises Rey by lifting himself up to sit on top of it. 

"Probably so no one kidnaps you. Didn't exactly work out." 

She gives him a half smile. "No it did not. What are you doing here?"

He grips the edge of the dresser and looks at his knees, pursing his lips. "You're still here. You've clearly healed enough to go back to Devaron. The last time I spoke with you you could barely get a sentence out." 

"I'm not as stupid as I sounded." She just wants to clarify that in case he decides to use her false stupidity to his advantage. 

"I know you're not. That's why I'm confused as to why you're still here. Any sane person would have fled this ship when given the chance." He looks back up at her and his face is much softer than she was expecting. 

How is she supposed to tell him that something inside of her is gluing her here? How is she supposed to make him understand that? She nibbles on her bottom lip, searching for the right words.

"Does the Force ever just... sort of guide you to make certain decisions? Like your body starts screaming at you if you go against what the Force wants?" When she says it out loud she realizes how ridiculous she sounds. Her body is probably still in shock from her injuries.

"All the time." Kylo admits. 

Rey perks up. "Really?" She lets out a shaky laugh. "I thought I was going mad." 

"No, you're sane. Well, as far as I can tell. Your intention of murdering Snoke in his own throne room was a little out there, but for the most part you're okay." He smirks. "I haven't spoken to a Force-user who isn't Snoke or my knights in years."

"You murdered Snoke in his own throne room. Are you trying to tell me you're insane?" 

He rolls his eyes. The action reminds her too much of Leia. 

"I knew what I was doing from the moment I got you to board the Supremacy. I used you as a distraction while I killed him. I never intended to let him kill you." The words sit heavily within Rey. Her presence was part of his plan the entire time. He knew she would buckle and fly to him. 

"I don't understand why you don't want me dead. Snoke himself said that I'm your equal in the Light. We should be enemies." Her logic makes sense in her mind. When she thinks of equal opposites, they always interact negatively. This situation shouldn't be any different.

"The fact that you're my equal in the Light is the exact reason I don't want you dead. Powerful Darkness without powerful Light just creates an imbalance in the Force. As long as we coexist, balance exists with us." 

"You don't want the Dark side to outweigh the Light side." Rey jumps onto her feet and clasps her hands together. "I knew I was right! Luke told me I wasn't, but I was!" She's grinning and Kylo is looking at her like she's grown a second head. "On Ahch-To, I told Luke there was still Light in you. He tried to tell me there wasn't." She crosses her arms and looks at him smugly.

Kylo narrows his eyes. "I never said that." 

"Anyone with no Light in them would want the Dark side to prevail. You just want balance. Kylo, I'm pretty certain that means you have Light in you."

"The fact that you're still here means you have Dark in you." He retorts, sounding miffed. 

"Everyone has Darkness in them, but nice try. You can't dodge this conversation." 

"Watch me." He hops off of the dresser and starts to walk towards the door. 

Rey groans in annoyance. "You're such a child." 

He stands still and keeps his body facing away from her but turns his head to the side. "Getting on the bad side of the person who continues to save your life isn't exactly a good idea." 

Rey rolls her eyes and watches him leave the room.


	4. Chapter Three

Rey is going stir crazy.

No one has been in her room for three days except for one medic and two service droids.

By no one, she means Kylo.

She's felt his presence on the ship. It's hard to miss the brightest Force signature on board. Logic tells her that someone as deep into the Dark side as Kylo would have a dim Force signature, but his is even brighter than Leia's.

It's something she wants to read about but it's not like she has access to some magical Force-based library.

She stops pacing the room and glances at the datapad on the wall.

Maybe she does?

Rey pads over to the screen and looks around for something even slightly resembling a library icon. This would be so much easier if she could just comm Kylo and ask him about it, but she knows he's still pissed off. Honestly though, why did he have to get so upset over the concept of having some Light in him? Rey owned up to the fact that she possesses some Darkness.

She sees a 'resources' icon and curiously taps on it. The page shows multiple resources on the ship like clearance codes, important comm links, and blueprints.

One option is literally labeled 'library' and Rey quietly cheers to herself.

"If there is a god on my side, this library won't be shit." She whispers, tapping on the icon. A list of hundreds of book titles shows up and Rey knows she's hit the jackpot. Being able to request any book she wants is almost overwhelming.

There are tabs at the top of the screen that divvy the books into categories and Rey selects the one that reads 'Jedi/Sith'.

Only about thirty book titles come up, but that's better than none. She skims through the titles and chooses a book called 'The Ways of the Force' before continuing her search. She figures she'll have enough time to kill while her ribs heal, so she might as well stock up on books.

Another book titled 'The History of the Sith' gets added to her list, then one titled 'Force Abnormalities: Bonds'. Finding an entire book about Force bonds wasn't even on her agenda, but she's not going to pass up the opportunity to read about the thing that once tied her to the galaxy's enemy.

She taps the final request button and waits.

How long does it even take to find the books? Rey imagines they aren't in plain sight and will take some digging to find. It surprises her that some of these books are accessible without a code or something. The First Order doesn't seem like an organization that encourages expanding one's mind.

Rey decides to meditate while she waits because strengthening her mind can only benefit her.

She sits cross-legged on the bed and closes her eyes, reaching out and feeling her surroundings. The ship has much more Darkness than it does Light. It's unsurprising but still rattles her. She can sense everyone on board, but only one person has a Force signature.

Kylo.

She can feel the bodies milling about the halls doing their routine scan of the ship. It disinterests her so she moves on to feeling beyond the ship. She's bombarded with thousands of life forms flying through space around them, most of them more than likely members of the First Order who are on patrol. Rey wonders if she will ever sense her friends flying past the cruiser while they're in hyperspace on a mission.

Rey wonders if her friends will ever even want to see her again.

Reminding herself that meditation is about finding peace and balance, not overthinking, she shoos the thought from her mind and focuses on letting in a little bit of darkness.

She thinks of the person who left her mangled and dying in that horrid cell over a week ago, thinks of the pirate who shot Finn a couple months earlier. Rey thinks of Unkar Plutt and his deplorable ways of running an outpost.

She thinks of touching Kylo's face and tracing the scar she gave him out of malice.

Her eyes jolt open and she looks down at her hands incredulously. "Shit." She huffs.

Since when is she having fantasies about Kylo Ren? Every time she tries to meditate she ends up thinking about him and ending her session, but her mind concocting images like this is rare. Maybe she's just grateful that he's kept her alive this long and this is her subconscious praising him.

R'iia, she hopes that's all it is. 

Rey pushes her most recent thoughts into the back of her mind and settles back into her meditation. It lasts maybe twenty minutes before being interrupted by a knock at the door. 

Rey comes out of her balanced mindset and resurfaces in the real world, getting up to greet what she assumes is a droid delivering her books.

She's sorely mistaken when the door slides open and Kylo is standing there with a small pile of books wedged under his left arm.

"Hi." Rey says in an uncertain tone. She steps to the side so Kylo can come in and she doesn't move until the door slides shut behind them.

"Every request you make from this room goes through me first so no one gets suspicious." He holds out the books and Rey gladly takes them. They're worn and are very clearly older than both her and Kylo combined. "I'm surprised it took you this long to nearly die of boredom."

He seems to have gotten over their argument from a few days prior. 

"I've been meditating a lot. And I learned how to braid my hair." She points at the two braids going from the front of her hairline down the back of her head. 

"You didn't know how to braid?" 

"No. Can you?" She asks incredulously. 

"Yes, I can." Kylo acts like everyone in the world possesses this skill except for her.

"My apologies. I didn't have anyone to teach me." That makes his face soften a bit.

"I know. It looks nice."

Receiving compliments from this man was not on her schedule today. 

"Thank you." She awkwardly looks at the books in her arms then back up at Kylo, who is just standing there staring at her. "I've spent a lot of time wondering about some Force-related things, so I figured I'd read about them."

"You could just ask me about them. I might know the answer to some of your questions."

"Everything you'd say would be skewed. I want a neutral viewpoint on the topics." 

Kylo lets out a single breathy laugh. "I'll give you a more neutral viewpoint than those books will. They're on a Star Destroyer. They're written to appeal to the Dark side and members of the First Order. Well, probably the Sith." 

"Oh." She sets the books down on the dresser then turns back to Kylo. "Then answer my questions." 

"Okay. What are they?"

What does she want to know the most? There are so many things she is in the dark about that she can't think of just one thing to ask. Kylo is probably a fountain of knowledge when it comes to this subject, so really anything she asks could get an actual answer.

"What's a Force signature and why are some more intense than others?" 

Kylo nods understandingly. "Well, there's two kinds. There's a post-use Force signature and an active-use Force signature. Post-use is a lot more difficult to see or feel because that person's impression within the Force deteriorates after they've left it. They could just not be actively using it or they could be dead."

"So Luke doesn't have a Force signature anymore." Rey points out, trying to understand this new world she was opened up to months ago.

"That's a different situation. He's a Force ghost, and I know that because he's visited me. I'm surprised he hasn't visited you." Kylo moves back to lean against the wall, his arms resting behind his back. 

Rey shrugs. "He and I weren't exactly friends." 

Kylo snorts. "I mean, he and I weren't either."

"Yeah, but he's your uncle. That's different."

"Is it though?" He cocks his head. "He did almost kill me."

"If I recall this story correctly, you tried to obliterate him on Crait. I'd say you're even." 

Kylo gives her a genuine smile. "That sounds about right." 

"I am right some of the time, you know." She plays. "Maybe not when I'm concussed, but when I'm coherent I'm usually right." 

"I'm sure you are." He rolls his eyes. 

"You'll learn." 

Kylo just gives her a softer look that she can't decipher before going back to talking about the Force. "Active-use Force signatures are the ones you can see that are the brightest and most prominent. The amount of Light or Dark in someone doesn't necessarily factor into the intensity of their signature."

"That's why yours is brighter than Leia's." Rey says to herself.

"Yes. She's not trained in the Force, so she just uses the bare minimum." This is actually starting to make sense to Rey and it leaves her feeling excited. Knowing these things makes her feel a little more at home within the world of the Force. "Active-use is exactly what it sounds like. When someone is actively using the Force, their signature is prominent, and if they're focusing a lot of energy into it, it is extremely bright."

"Your signature has been glowing in my mind for the past couple days. You always utilize the Force, don't you?" Rey asks. 

"Most of the time, yes. It's usually mentally."

"Meditation?" 

"Sometimes. I also get lazy and use it to bring things to myself." He jokes. Rey smiles as the thought of Kylo lying in bed, too lazy to get up and get a glass of water, pops into her mind. He is also shirtless. 

Rey needs to think about something else. "What about Force bonds? We had one and now it's gone. How did Snoke even form that?"

Kylo is silent for a couple seconds, looking as if he's trying to find the right words to say. "I don't know how Snoke formed it, honestly. He was incredibly powerful. Usually bonds form gradually over time between a master and their apprentice, so it's strange that ours basically happened overnight. I know that passion has to be present for a bond to form and that's why a lot of Jedi weren't able to reach that point with their apprentice or master."

Passion.

A bond needs passion to form.

Did Snoke sense passion between them? He did say that Kylo would easily open his heart to Rey, so maybe there is something between them. It must be hidden deep beneath multiple layers of distrust and hurt. 

"So what happens when two people are bonded? Like, what does that mean for them?" Rey wonders aloud.

"Bonds can only break by death of one side of the bond or if one side of the bond leaves the Force entirely. In our case, I think Snoke's death is what severed it, since he was the creator of it. If one side of a bond dies, the other dies as well. Once two people are bonded, they're bound together for life. Some people like to think of it as fate's red string, but I think that's a load of shit." 

Fate is a strong word that makes Rey's mouth run dry. Like soul mates? Are people who are bonded soul mates? If a master and their apprentice are often bonded, then maybe that's not the case. But this is a rare case and Kylo is not her master. 

"How are bonds formed, though? Like what phenomenon has to occur?"

Kylo pushes himself away from the wall and takes a step toward her. "Usually inspiration from a powerful Force-sensitive is what ignites a bond. That detail makes me wonder if Snoke didn't actually form our bond. When you infiltrated my mind on Starkiller, something basically burst into flames in my head and it's still there."

"So we're still bonded? I never see you or hear your thoughts."

"I know, and me with you. That's why I have no idea what's going on." He half smiles. "This is just as new to me as it is to you, except for the fact that I have some background knowledge on typical bonds. This, however, is not a typical bond. Well, it wasn't, at least. Whatever this is slash was is somehow deeper than just a regular bond between Force-sensitives."

"What do you mean?"

"I could feel the rain on Ahch-To when we saw each other. It was on my hands. That's completely unheard of." He runs a hand through his hair, which is much more voluminous than usual. 

"I could feel something, I'm assuming it was the removal of your stitches, on my face before we saw each other the first time." Kylo's brows raise. 

"I don't understand why we were bonded so tightly. It doesn't make sense to me."

"Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something." Rey suggests. 

"Like what?" Kylo looks unamused. 

"Maybe we were supposed to find each other and be bonded. I don't know what the reasoning could be, but maybe this is fate." Her cheeks redden at how bubbly and stupid it sounds. "BB-8 didn't find me out of luck. I think that may have been fate." 

She's always believed in fate, as naive and childish it may be. She's believed that every single thing she's ever done has led her to this moment, and this moment is exactly where she's supposed to be. She's not behind on anything. The universe tells her everything is right on track. 

"Don't be ridiculous. Fate isn't real." 

"I think it is." 

"So it was fate that your parents dumped you off on that sand giant?" It hurts, but Rey doesn't take it to heart. She can't.

"It was also fate that you thought your parents hated you and you turned into a monster." She retorts. If he wants to start digging up old shit, then she can throw it right back at him. 

Kylo glares at her, his face hard. "You were so lonely when I saw your mind on Starkiller. You can't tell me all those years of loneliness were supposed to happen." 

"You're afraid of everything. Of feeling, of not being good enough, of failing, it's all supposed to be that way. If you weren't any of those things, you wouldn't be the person you are today. Your weakness is fate." She's being frozen in place the second she finishes her sentence and Kylo stalks toward her until he's inches from her. 

"I don't have any weakness." He spits. "I don't need to feel things. I'm the most powerful person in the galaxy. What do I need to feel?"

She's released, but he stands firm. 

"You feel things. If you didn't, you wouldn't care so much about my safety. You feel something towards me." 

A folded shirt flies off the dresser and against the opposite wall. "Fuck this. You don't know what you're rambling on about, Scavenger."

"So we're back to Scavenger. I thought that one was dead and gone." She grumbles, rolling her eyes. His anger and demeanor don't scare her. She worked under Unkar Plutt for her entire life. 

"Your audacity to speak to me like this is astounding." 

"I'm not afraid of you, Kylo. You don't have to act big and strong around me. You're human. I don't know what Snoke put in your head, but being human is okay." Her tone is soft now. Trying to get through to the man in front of her is like trying to throw water through a steel wall. 

He doesn't respond. They just stare at each other, chests mere inches apart, for a few moments. The sound of the breathing is the only one filling the room around them. 

Rey steps back and eyes him. "Who made you stop feeling? Was it Snoke?" 

"Snoke was the one who taught me to fuel my power with my rage."

Rey shakes her head. "Let me correct myself. Who made you stop feeling things other than anger and hatred? When was the last time you felt love or happiness?" She expects him to throw something or call her a name, but instead his shoulders visibly soften. 

Oh. She struck a nerve.

"Those are weak emotions." He says, not even sounding like he's convinced himself of that.

"Kylo, you know that's not true. Everyone feels them. You're allowed to too, even if you are Supreme Leader. Your title doesn't forbid you from human elements." She watches him swallow thickly, appearing to be having an internal battle with himself.

"You don't know everything." He states. "You're not always right."

"I am about this." It comes out quieter than she'd anticipated, but he hears it. "Snoke damaged you so badly. I want to take all of that pain and hurt and throw it out so you can breathe without that weight on your chest. I felt it the whole time we were bonded. You're being crushed under something you could lift if you had help."

"We're finished talking about this."

"No, we're not." She moves to block the path to the door, refusing to let Kylo walk out on her. "I haven't had anyone to talk to for three days, you are not walking your ass out of here."

"You'd just love to see my ass stay here." He grumbles. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Is he accusing her of liking his ass? He's not wrong, now that it's brought to her attention, but she'd rather be dead than admit that to anyone.

"You love planting yourself in my life, in my head, and annoying me. It's like your favorite hobby." So she's planted in his head too. It's nice to know that she's not the only one with a case of mild obsession. Again, would rather be dead than admit it to anyone. 

"Well I agreed to be stuck on this ship with you, and you're the only person who knows I'm here, so you're going to be seeing a lot of me."

"You should've gone back to Devaron. You still can."

"I want to murder the person who tried to murder me. You can help me with that." Kylo's face goes from annoyed to interested in a split second. 

"You've only mentioned avenging them. I didn't know you meant murder."

"Well, they've thoroughly pissed me off. And you seem to be rubbing off on me a bit." 

"This isn't very Jedi of you." Kylo snorts. 

"I'm not a Jedi." The black and white concept of the Light and Dark sides have never sat well with her. Why can't there be an in-between? 

"Then what are you?" He looks curious, and Rey honestly is too. 

"Not a Jedi." 

"So you have issues with me killing people, but you're allowed to murder someone now? That doesn't seem fair."

Rey scoffs at Kylo speaking of murder like it's a child's game and she's altering the rules. "You do it daily."

"I absolutely do not. I just have a terrible reputation. I'm really not that terrible of a person." 

Rey actually laughs out loud at that. "You murdered your own father, wiped out an entire village because of a stupid map piece, love torturing members of the Resistance, and you tried to shoot me down on Crait, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. You're going to tell me that you're not a bad person." 

"I tried to shoot you down on Crait?" Kylo asks. 

"I was in the Falcon. If I recall, we were being shot at and I'm almost certain you were in charge." She remembers feeling terrified during that battle but also loving the thrill of being behind the gun for once. She was so focused on getting to the Resistance that her fear was crushed down into her so she could actually perform her task well. 

"You were on Snoke's escape craft." He appears to be reassuring himself instead of her, his eyes unfocused. 

"No. I was on the Falcon. It was Chewie and I." She steps closer to him. "You didn't know I was on the ship you wanted obliterated." 

"Why would I want you dead? There's one person in this entire galaxy who gets both me and the Force. Why would I kill them?" He says, frustrated. 

"I... I don't know." She understands loneliness, has felt it to the bone, and understands needing someone. Rey didn't realize Kylo's someone was her.

Rey didn't realize her someone might just be Kylo Ren.

It makes sense now that she thinks about it. They're inexplicably drawn together and they just understand each other too much for it to be coincidence. Their storylines are almost as similar as hers and Finn's, maybe even more so. 

"You're the only person in the galaxy I'm trying to keep alive." Kylo murmurs. Rey wonders if he even wanted her to hear the confession. "You and my mother."

The last bit shocks Rey enough that she visibly straightens up and her lips part slightly. 

"I should hate her for shipping me off to the Jedi Academy, for always leaving me behind on her political runs. She was afraid of me but I was too. I can still feel her, you know. Every day I check to make sure she's still there. Mothers and their children have a special bond that is indescribable to people who don't feel it, but I test ours every single day. I don't hate her. I never have and I don't think I ever will." 

Kylo being so transparent with her has Rey with tears in her eyes, and all she can think to do is reach out and put her hand over Kylo's heart. The distance between them is minimal enough that it's more of a caress. "She loves you. She wants you to go home." Rey whispers. 

"I can't. I have work to do here and I would be put on trial and executed if I returned to my mother. It's impossible."

"Where did you grow up?" Rey asks suddenly. Knowing more about Ben Solo is the only thing she wants to do right now. 

"Chandrila." 

Rey's heard of the planet but never been. She's been told stories of its beauty and the residents' connection to the fauna on the planet, how it was once a large political hub, and she'd even once heard a rumor that there are crystal caves hiding within parts of it. 

"Because of your mother?" 

"Yes. We lived by water. I don't remember a lot, but I do remember my mother taking me to swim in the lake by our home. It was somehow always the perfect temperature." He reminisces on the moment and Rey can't help but smile to herself. Knowing that Kylo has had good times in his life settles well within her. 

"It sounds beautiful." Rey almost feels homesick for the home she's never had. Her toppled AT-AT is a laughable excuse for a home, but it's the closest thing she can think of when looking back on her childhood. She made it hers and laid her head to rest there at night, so that's technically a home. 

"It is."

It's silent for a beat before Rey chimes in. "Jakku was just hot days with a lot of sand." She laughs. "Thank the Maker for the Empire, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to eat." 

Kylo raises an eyebrow in question and Rey continues. "Imperial ships were crashed all around the desert. I would use them to scavenge for parts then trade those parts for food at the outpost." 

Rey remembers being about twelve years old and finding part of a lightsaber hilt in one of the ships she was looting. Finding something worth so many portions had her so giddy that she didn't notice the much older man looting the same ship. That was the first time she was beaten and robbed, and it unfortunately wasn't the last.

"You had to do that every day." Kylo sounds like he's in disbelief. She imagines he's always had droids serving his meals and folding his laundry for him, so it's not a surprise that her old lifestyle would unsettle him so much. 

"Yes. I'm actually quite amazing at finding the right things. They seem to call out to me."

"That's the Force."

"Seriously?" She'd never even considered that, but now that she thinks about it it makes a lot of sense. Sometimes she would go days without food, getting so hungry she thought she'd die of starvation. Before she could, however, something would lead her to finding a piece or part worth multiple portions. She supposes the Force needed her to stay alive so she could get to this moment. "Oh, R'iia. You're right."

"I know I am. But I don't really want to gloss over the fact that your childhood was such garbage." 

Rey waves him off. "I'm here now. It got me to this point, so I have no reason to hold a grudge against it." Kylo looks at her in awe. "You're the one who told me to let the past die, aren't you? It's the only way to become who I'm meant to be? Well, I'm meant to be here. With you." 

Rey can feel her heart pounding against the bacta patch layered over her ribs. They have gone from arguing to being soft with each other within a span of ten minutes. She doesn't dare try to predict what the next ten minutes will hold. 

"I'm going to train you to fight. You're good, but you want to murder the person who was capable of nearly killing you. You need to master forms first. Your ribs should be healed within the next couple of days if you keep up with the bacta, so I'll take you into the throne room and see where you're at as far as fighting strategies go." 

There isn't anything Rey wants more than to be active again. One of the worst side effects of her injuries has been her inability to exert herself. "I would love that." She grins.

Kylo gives her a small smile in return.


	5. Chapter 4

Two days laters, Rey walks into the throne room and actually doesn't hate it. The only thing she can see is the galaxy outside of the ship, thanks to the completely windowed walls and ceiling. It's absolutely breathtaking.

"This is actually really brilliant." She walks until she's in the center of the room, stopping to do a three-sixty and drop the cape she's covered with, using it earlier to conceal her identity. Kylo is still standing by the doors just watching her. She turns to look at the throne and sees that it's been removed completely. "This isn't even a throne room."

When she looks back at him he's walking towards her. "I'm actually waiting on something before I finish the room. Right now I just use it to spar with my knights." He pulls something out of his tunic and tosses it to Rey. It catches her off-guard, but she manages to get her hands on it without it hitting the ground. The second she comes into contact with the object she smiles.

"You found my lightsaber." Rey studies it and looks for any damage but finds none. Having it back in her possession is like getting back a part of herself that she'd lost.

"I did. Whoever put you in the cell just stuck it in the armory down there." He looks both incredulous and displeased at the same time.

"You'd think they'd try a little harder." She laughs. She ignites it and her eyes light up with the crackling blue beams in front of her. "But I'm glad they didn't."

Kylo ignites his saber and advances toward her. Rey realizes he brought her in here to spar with him. Oh.

Rey tries to read Kylo's next move, but his mind is much harder to infiltrate than a stormtrooper's. He jumps to take a jab at her and she easily blocks it, moving their sabers up and pushing against him. He spins out of it and swipes for her legs but Rey is too quick and moves before he's even close to hitting her. She begins to circle the center of the room.

"I should've known you weren't just bringing me in here to look at something pretty."

He stands a decent distance across from her and starts circling as well. "Every time we're together we have to fight. It's a rule." He uses the Force to drag her to him and stops her a foot from where he's standing. "I've just waited this long because it wouldn't have been a fair fight otherwise." He goes to strike her shoulder and she blocks him, the other end of her saber dangerously close to burning through the fabric on his thigh.

"Who declared that rule?" She twirls her saber to go for his torso and he deflects it, swinging back at her immediately. She ducks and uses her saber to shield her head before springing back up and continuously pressing her saber to his, forcing him back towards where the throne should be.

Being on the offensive makes Rey turn feral.

"Me." Kylo breaks free of her hold on him and ducks before moving behind her. He twirls his saber in his hand and smirks. "Although, the last time we fought we were working together, not against each other." Rey has already turned around and moves to kick him, but Kylo freezes her in her spot. "We're not using melee. I'm going to train that out of you."

He releases her and she narrows her eyes at him. "Impossible." She starts attacking him furiously but he blocks every swing and jab she takes at him. She's good, but he's much better. It's obvious that he's had years of training and fighting with the Force, whereas she's only had a few months.

She's one step away from tripping backwards over the platform the throne used to be on and she needs to do something before Kylo sends her toppling over. He pushes his saber toward her own and just as they make contact, Rey urges the Force to send him flying backwards.

He does.

His lightsaber shuts down and he lands on his ass, his expression one that Rey can't read. She turns her saber off and walks toward him.

"Couldn't let you knock me over. Sorry." Her tone lacks actual sympathy and instead is laced with pride.

Kylo stands up and brushes his backside off. "Where did you learn to override my control?"

Rey is unaware that's what it takes to execute that move. "I didn't know that's what you have to do. I just kind of did it." He takes a step closer.

"What else can you do?" She has to look up at him now due to their proximity.

"I'm not sure. I can freeze blaster bolts. And trick people's minds." His eyes widen.

"Where did you learn those? I've never heard of anyone just randomly using those techniques without being taught how."

Rey shrugs. "I used the mind trick back when you dragged me onto Starkiller Base. That's how I got out of that godforsaken chair."

"I've always wondered how you managed that. You had never heard of doing that before?"

She shakes her head. Everything she had ever heard about the Force she'd believed to be a myth. The mind trick had never been introduced to her until a strange urge to use it bloomed in her mind that day. "I just get what almost feels like an urge to use them. I was training with Finn and I froze a blaster bolt without even thinking about it. It was like an instinct."

His gaze flits from one part of her face to the other, like he's studying her. They're standing maybe a foot apart and Rey is starting to grow uncomfortable with how close they are.

"Those are all fighting strategies I utilize. You wield your saber the same way I wield mine. I noticed that the first time we fought on Starkiller." What is he trying to insinuate? That she somehow picked up on everything he knows? "Our bond was forged by Snoke and severed after his death. But maybe it wasn't."

"That's ridiculous. I went six months without seeing or hearing from you. I think we'd know if the bond still existed." What he's telling her makes sense though. How else would she just know how to use those techniques? Sure, he'd used the freezing strategy on her on Takodana, but that doesn't mean she learned how to do it as it happened.

Then she remembers seeing herself in that little cell, blood caking the floor around her limp body.

Was she seeing herself through Kylo's eyes?

"Kylo." She redirects her eyes so she's looking directly into his. "When I was in the med bay, I saw myself. I was lying on the floor of that cell with blood around me. I looked unconscious. Is that how you found me?" His nose flares and he clenches his jaw.

"Yes."

The silence between them is heavy for a moment.

He breaks it. "I kept getting headaches and I couldn't figure out why. A day passed before I sensed you were on the ship. You were so weak your presence in the Force was hidden. When I found you I thought you were dead, but I told myself that if I could feel you, you weren't. I was afraid to leave you but I had to tell the med bay to prepare for you because you were so badly injured. When I went back to your cell you were awake but not at all coherent. You thought you were hallucinating and that I wasn't real."

"Your headache was a response to my concussion." Rey says aloud to herself. "You could only feel that if-"

"If we're bonded." Kylo finishes her sentence and swallows thickly. "Snoke didn't forge this. I don't know what did, but he took credit for something that happened on its own."

Rey is speechless. Why hadn't Kylo been projected into her surroundings like he had before? If the bond was still truly there, wouldn't both of them have known this whole time?

"You use the same lightsaber form as I do, Rey. Those forms are only taught. They aren't possible to execute from instincts alone."

"There are different forms? How many?" She's never heard of actual techniques to lightsaber battles. She just assumed it was all based on instinct.

"There are seven. We use the fifth form, which is a mixture of Shien and Djem So. It's based on deflecting blaster bolts and sending them back at the enemy, but also focuses on using the energy from the enemy's saber and exerting it into a counterattack."

Rey thinks of when she was in the forest on Devaron and sent the stormtroopers' bolts flying back at them when she deflected them. That doesn't just happen on its own? "I didn't know there was a name for the way people fight. What are the other ones?"

The two of them have moved apart a bit so the conversation isn't as intense as it had been a few moments earlier. Rey is thankful for that.

"I've wanted to teach you forms two, three, and six since I fought you on Starkiller. I think you'd respond really well to them." Rey stares back at him, waiting for an explanation. He catches on quickly. "We might as well sit down."

"It would be more comfortable if you had a throne." Rey jokes. They sit next to each other on the edge of the non-existent throne's platform.

"I'd need two."

Rey chooses not to respond.

Kylo just changes the subject. "The second form is called Makashi. It focuses on precision, preventing disarmament, and keeping your footwork simple. It's strongest against the first form, which is just very basic lightsaber wielding. Makashi is actually regarded as the most elegant form of lightsaber battle." Kylo's eyes light up as he talks about the subject and Rey can tell it's something he's passionate about. She's eager to learn and more than willing to let him speak. Something about his voice draws her in and calms her.

"You're required to tell me why I should learn the forms you're explaining to me." She simpers.

"That's fair." Kylo gives her a small smile before continuing. "There's just something very elegant about the way you carry yourself. I know you're a scavenging desert rat," Rey gives him the side eye and he smiles again. "I'm joking. You're from a place where elegance isn't common, so it surprises me that you're so..." He gestures at nothing.

"Civilized?" Rey guesses. "Finn and Poe had to teach me table manners. I wouldn't exactly consider myself elegant."

"If someone put you in a gown you would look radiant without even trying. That's elegance."

Rey cocks her head and grins, her nose scrunching with it. "You're envisioning me in a gown? Emperor Ren, you're making it sound like you think about me when I'm not around."

"Like you don't think about me when I'm not around." He challenges.

Rey really doesn't have a follow up to that.

She thinks about him when she goes to bed and when she wakes up. She thinks about him while she showers and while she meditates. She thinks about him so much that she doesn't even know what else she thinks about.

"I do occasionally." It's a blatant lie and she's positive Kylo knows. He's the only person she spends time with on this ship. Who else is she supposed to think about?

"Yeah. Okay." He snorts. This is a side of Kylo that Rey has never seen and she's very fond of it. Being playful was not something she presumed would be part of his personality.

"Explain the third form." Rey just wants to move off the subject of them thinking about each other. So what if he's on her mind? It doesn't mean anything.

Kylo lies back and stares at the ceiling above them. Rey decides to do the same.

"The third form is called Soresu. I mainly want you to learn it because it was created to defend against blasters, and everyone you're going to come into contact with will wield a blaster. As far as I know, we're the only two people in the galaxy who use lightsabers. Even my Knights of Ren don't."

"So the other forms don't even matter then."

"You'll only use them against me. However, if we end up training Force-sensitives, knowing different forms will be beneficial." She looks over at him with a raised brow and sees that he recognizes his choice in words. "I meant, just, in general. Like, if you go off and decide to train people and I bring people here-"

"You're one of those people who keeps talking to try to fix something but just ends up making it worse, aren't you?" Rey giggles.

"I don't usually have lengthy conversations with people unless they're about battle strategies or things of that nature. Give me a couple passes."

"Fine. Keep teaching me, oh wise Emperor." She says dramatically. Kylo gives her an unreadable look that is too intense for Rey's liking. She turns back to the ceiling.

"Soresu has tight movements that are efficient and shield the body from blaster fire. It's a non-aggressive approach, considering you're only deflecting fire and not sending it back toward the enemy. The most important thing to remember when using Soresu is that you must be centered in the Force and anticipate the enemy's movements to be successful. You meditate a lot and I know you're very focused on the mental sector of the Force, so I thought you'd excel in using this one. You kind of integrate this form into the Djem So you use, which I found interesting."

"I thought you said people don't just instinctively use these?"

"You seem to be the exception."

Rey smiles smugly.

"You still need some guidance though. It's better to know you're using a form and do it purposely than to just go on instincts. There's a lower chance of getting wounded that way." His constant need to keep Rey safe gives her goosebumps. She doesn't think anyone has even remotely cared about her wellbeing this much. "So, going off of that, the sixth form is also one you've integrated into Djem So. Honestly, your form is just a clusterfuck of three different ones. The sixth one is called Niman and it focuses on using other Force techniques while also wielding a lightsaber. An example is when you used the Force to shove me back about ten minutes ago. Some people think this form is inferior to others because it's not technically a lightsaber form, but I believe you'd use it well. When you used it on me today it just solidified my opinion. The fact that you came here with a dual-ended lightsaber is also interesting, considering this form is mostly used by people who wield multiple blades. I know you're used to melee and your staff, but I feel like once you learn Niman, it will be your go-to."

Rey lies there and absorbs the information she's just been given. Kylo watched her try to kill him then thought about what forms she would work well with? Either he's desperate for an apprentice or he genuinely just wants Rey to learn about the Force. She has a feeling it's more of the latter.

"So you're going to teach me all of these by actually fighting me with them?" The idea thrills her.

"Yes. It's the best way to learn."

"You know we have similar sabers now. Watching two cracked kyber crystals interact is going to be beautiful." She picks up her saber and sticks her arm straight in the air to ignite it. The angry blue radiates power above them and Rey and Kylo both examine the light. With the ceiling of stars behind it, the beauty emanating from the weapon makes Rey smile. "I don't think I did a terrible job. You're the one who cracked the crystal, so this is technically your fault."

Kylo turns his head so his cheek is on the floor and he looks at her. "You easily could've let me keep the saber. I would have let you have it when you joined me."

Rey sheaths the saber and turns her head so her position mimics Kylo's. "And you easily could've let me keep the saber because it called to me and you already have one. I came back, didn't I?"

Kylo stares back at her. "You're only here because one of my men kidnapped you and dragged you here."

"I had the chance to go back to Devaron. I stayed here with you." The atmosphere between them undergoes a slight shift and Rey can't put her finger on what it's evolved into.

"Why did you stay." His voice is soft now, not a trace of sarcasm or malice in it.

"I already told you why."

"We both know the Force and the murder aren't the only reasons."

Rey feels exposed and ridiculous right now. She's lying beneath the stars with the First Order's Emperor and they're talking like teenagers on a date.

A date.

The feeling that's been sitting in the pit of her stomach every time Kylo has been mentioned in the past few months bubbles to the surface and it takes everything she has not to let out a gasp.

She stayed because she has compassion for this man. Master of the Knights of Ren. The Jedi Killer. Emperor of the First Order.

She maybe loves Kylo Ren.

Holding eye contact with him is suddenly too much and she finds herself sitting up, staring at the doors across the room from her.

"I want to murder who's trying to kill me." She repeats her reasoning from a couple days prior. Her voice is mildly shaky but she doesn't think Kylo notices. How could she let this happen? How did this happen? What stars aligned to cause this catastrophic phenomenon in her life? R'iia, what will Leia say if she finds out? What if Finn and Poe find out and never speak to her again because, after all, she is ultimately a traitor to the Resistance for feeling like this.

"Are you okay?" Kylo sits up and lightly touches Rey's shoulder. She can't jerk it away fast enough.

"Yes. I think I should head back to my quarters. You probably have loads of work to do anyway." She stands up and sticks her saber in the waistband of her leggings. A belt is the next piece of clothing she's going to request now that she has her saber back.

Kylo looks hurt, but more confused than anything. "Okay. Uh, yeah. I have to go to the bridge and check in." He stands up next to her and brushes off his pants. "We can start training some time this week?"

"Yeah, definitely." Rey nods. She retrieves her cape and throws it over herself to conceal her identity from any passersby. "Thank you for the lesson today. I'll see you later?"

"Yes, of course."

Rey gives him a brief smile then exits the throne room.

With each step she takes, her brain screams traitor, traitor, traitor.

 

x

 

As soon as the door to her quarters slides shut behind her, Rey starts crying. Hot, fat tears slide down her cheeks and she can barely breathe, no sound exiting her mouth. She didn't mean to fall in love with the alleged worst but also best person in the galaxy. What if he finds out? Sure, he seems to tolerate her and maybe even like her, but she's positive it's because she gets him more than anyone. Kylo Ren, Emperor of the Galaxy, Master of the Knights of Ren, the fucking Jedi Killer for maker's sake, could never love her. She's a scavenger, born into a family that abandoned her and left her to fend for herself. She's nobody.

She wipes her eyes with the heels of her hands and remembers when he told her she's someone to him. 

"You're nothing. But not to me." He'd said, months ago on the Supremacy.

A sob escapes her and she sits down next to the door, her back pressed against the wall and her knees to her chest. Anxiety floods her and makes her chest tighten. She pants between sobs, trying to get air into her lungs as her breaths grow short.

She's having an anxiety attack, something she hasn't experienced for years. The last time she had one she had slid down part of a ship she was looting and nearly died. This situation seemed minuscule compared to that, yet it still evoked the same reaction.

Her nails dig into her skin through the fabric of her dark leggings. 

There's no sense in denying her feelings, so she rids that option before even considering it. She can repress the feelings if she tries hard enough. Surely she can be around Kylo and not let him sense anything suspicious, right? 

She could tell him, but she'd rather be trampled by a bantha than do that. 

Repression. She's going to push her feelings so far down that she forgets they're there. Loving someone is foreign to her, but she thinks she can pretend she doesn't love Kylo Ren. 

Her breathing slows after her decision is made and she rests her forehead on her knees. 

R'iia, she's fucked.

 

x

 

Rey is sitting cross-legged on her bed reading the book about Sith and Jedi when she hears a knock on her door. She looks up from her book in time to see Kylo stepping into her quarters, wearing only tight-fitting black pants, black boots, and a sinfully tight black t-shirt. 

Okay.

She can do this.

It's been a day since her revelation, and this is the first time she's seen Kylo since. Naturally, he's wearing the most flattering clothing he owns. 

"Hi." Rey says, marking the book with a dog-ear and setting it at the foot of her bed. 

"Hi." He says back as he walks to the foot of her bed. "I thought I'd teach you how to close off your mind today." 

Rey's breath hitches in her throat and she suddenly worries that she projected yesterday's hysteria onto Kylo. "Oh, okay."

"It's not very useful around people who aren't Force-sensitive, but it's still a skill you should know." He stands there awkwardly for a moment before coming around to the side of her bed and sitting down. His proximity to Rey makes her heart beat so loud she swears he can hear it. 

"You can actually sit on the bed, you know." She smiles, patting the spot next to her. He nods and moves to sit cross-legged next to her. "You don't look like you'd be able to contort your body like that." She giggles. 

"You'd be surprised." He remarks, leaving Rey's cheeks warm.

"Do you close off your mind a lot?"

"Always. It's better to keep everyone out, even if no one can get in. Now that Snoke is gone, I don't have much of a reason to, but I guess it just became a habit." 

Rey tilts her head at him. "You don't need to hide things from me." 

She could be imagining things, but Rey swears his eyes flick to her lips for the shortest second before coming back to her eyes. "You don't want to be exposed to my darkness. Your light is pure and so bright it's almost blinding. I can't risk diminishing that." 

"I think I'm strong enough to resist the dark."

"You went straight to it in that cave." He has a point. 

"Fine." She agrees. "How do I train my mind, though?"

"That's why I'm in here." He gestures with his hands as if to say 'obviously'. 

"Right. Okay." She straightens her posture and looks forward, waiting for instructions. She's met with silence. She peeks to her right and Kylo is just staring at her with the smallest fraction of a smile. "What?"

"We're not meditating. This isn't a formal use of the Force." He jokes, making Rey bump his shoulder roughly in response. 

"Don't make fun of me, I'm learning." She pouts. 

"Sorry, sorry. Okay. Just relax and open your mind as if you're meditating." Rey nods her head and focuses on letting down the walls in her mind as best as possible. She feels a strange sensation in her head, much like the one she felt when Kylo first tried to probe her mind so many months ago. The doors slam shut and the curtains are closed before Rey can process what's happening. The sensation goes away and Kylo purses his lips. "You're too much like me." He mutters. "We're focusing on shutting out individual parts. If you do it with just one wall, someone can easily knock it down. If there's a wall around each section, it's harder to infiltrate."

"I'm sorry, that was just an instinct." She winces and brushes a strand of hair from her eyes. "Try again." 

She opens her mind again, this time willing herself to keep it open. She feels Kylo go to one section of her mind. Her childhood. 

Nope. He doesn't need to see that. She mentally builds a brick wall around it, but Kylo seems to be removing bricks when she adds another. She shoves him aside in her head and continues building the wall. It feels like she's manually doing it, but it really only takes a second or two until her childhood is safe from Kylo's view. 

He darts to her feelings and she has never thought she could master a section of the Force so easily, her wall erecting itself so quickly she doesn't even realize it.

He pulls away and raises his brows at her. 

"You're better at this than I presumed. Either that or you really don't want me to see something." He lightly chuckles. Rey's stomach is fluttering with anxiety and she can feel her palms start to sweat. 

"Can you teach me how to reach out to the entire galaxy? I can never seem to get very far without getting distracted." She has got to change the subject of this lesson before Kylo feels anything resembling affection within her. Did he have to wear that t-shirt? 

"Um, yeah, sure." He looks confused but bless him for being compliant. "It's difficult to reach out to everything and everyone, but I can get you to expand your regions."

"That would be lovely." She settles into a meditative pose and waits for further instruction. 

"It's similar to breaking down barriers in another person's mind. Just focus on one big barrier that's beyond what you can already feel, if that makes sense." 

It doesn't, but Rey tries it anyway. She feels the people throughout the ship and feels people on a nearby moon. Her mind expands to comb over spacecrafts near the Finalizer and jumps to a planet beyond them. Millions of lifeforms thrum before her and she feels her brow furrow as she pushes her mind past the planet and into a new layer of the galaxy. She's not sure where she's feeling, but she notes the presence of Force-sensitives and her eyes shoot open. 

"Where was that?" She asks herself out loud. "There were Force-sensitives."

Kylo straightens a bit. "What?" 

"I went... somewhere... and I felt them. Hundreds of them. We're near a planet with people like us." The thought makes her feel less like an oddity. Since discovering her Force-sensitivity, the Skywalkers and Snoke are the only people she'd known who were feeling the same thing. 

"Hundreds? My Knights are Force-sensitive, but I only have a few. How strong are you? Fuck." He sounds surprised by her findings and she feels a sense of pride. If she's somehow stronger than Kylo Ren, her ego is going to have trouble fitting through the door. 

"I don't know how close we are to them."

"Hux hates Force-sensitives. It's jealousy. Good thing he doesn't know they're nearby." He grumbles, rolling his eyes. 

"You don't think he'd kill people because of their sensitivity, do you?" The worry floods her and she bites her lip. Could she be in even more danger due to who she is?

"If he tried, he'd lose. He's good when it comes to commanding an army, but shit when it comes to executing anyone associated with the Force." He snickers as if he's defeated the man before. "Don't worry about him. He has no idea we're near them."

Rey nods but still feels uneasy. 

She doesn't believe him.


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. Sorry this chapter is a little short and choppy. I promise not all of them will be formatted like this! Also, I know you're waiting for smut, but just be patient. Good things come to those who wait :)

"So Hux definitely knew." Rey says as she and Kylo watch multiple TIEs deploy to a planet below them. The giant windows in the 'throne' room were beautiful until Rey realized she can see everything the First Order does through them. 

Four days have passed since their discussion in her bedroom and everything seemed to be off-kilter until this moment. 

Rey could feel that something was going to happen, but she was afraid to tell Kylo, assuming he would blow her off. 

"He's really going to go behind my back and do this." He states angrily. He turns around and begins marching toward the doors to exit, presumably going to murder Hux. "Stay here."

Rey is torn between running after him to stop whatever irrational action he's about to execute and staying put. She decides to stay put out of fear of Hux finding out she's on board. If he wants to kill Force-sensitives he doesn't even know, then he wouldn't bat an eye at killing her. 

She sits down cross-legged and leans the back of her head against the window, looking out at the room. She feels helpless. She should be on that planet helping those innocent people, not sitting here watching it all happen. 

A thought occurs to her, and before her logic can set in she's up and sprinting out of the room. 

Not caring if someone recognizes her, Rey jogs through the halls until she eventually finds a hangar. A couple TIEs are preparing for takeoff and she sighs heavily. 

"I can do this." She says to herself. TIEs are easy to fly in her opinion. Based on the simulations she ran on Jakku, they're fast but not so fast she'd lose control. 

She tricks the mind of the 'trooper guarding the hangar into letting her through, then sneaks past a pile of crates to spy on who is entering the TIE. What appears to be a 'trooper in all black gear is speaking with a normally uniformed 'trooper. 

Rey crouches there for a moment, contemplating how she should take out the 'troopers surrounding the TIEs. Maybe if she infiltrates their minds she can see what their plans are, then she can attack. Using her saber is a last resort. The Force, however, is not off-limits. 

She lightly probes the mind of the all-black 'trooper and finds that it's pliable and easy to get into. The front of their mind is focusing on the mission ahead and Rey internally cheers. 

They're going to Rendili, a planet in the Core Worlds. Rey's only heard tales of the planet being a founder of the Galactic Republic. She has no idea what that means today. 

Rey assumes Kylo already knows where they're sending TIEs, at least he should unless he killed Hux before he got any information out of him. Kylo's not that thick-headed, but his temper can get the best of him sometimes. 

She tunes back in to the conversation the two stormtroopers are having. 

The one in black is talking about the last time they committed a genocide like this. 

Wait. 

What?

Kylo. Rey tests their bond, desperate for it to flare up. She knows it's still there and she begs the gods to make it connect the two of them. Kylo I swear to the maker if this doesn't work I'm going to-

What? His voice pops into her mind and she relaxes a bit. 

They've done this before. This isn't the first time they've killed groups of Force-sensitives.

How do you know that? 

Rey starts to get a slight headache and she knows this form of communication must be pushing her limits. 

I'm in the mind of one of those all-black 'troopers and-

Where the fuck are you, Rey. He sounds exasperated, like he knew this was coming. 

That's not important. 

Hux said they're going to Rendili. I had to choke it out of him, literally. I didn't kill him by some miracle. 

I was wondering if you would. 

Please just go back to your quarters or the throne room. No one can know you're here. You're jeopardizing your safety. 

Not until I know more. She cuts him off and bites her lip. She's doing this.

The white 'trooper nods at something before backing away from the TIE and Rey knows it's now or never. She's chosen her ship and her target, now she just needs to execute the plan. 

Seconds tick by and she can't bring herself to lunge out and attack. There are too many 'troopers near the crates for her to be able to fight off, but maybe if she can trick all of their minds at once they won't be an issue. But then the black-armored 'trooper will see her and could shoot her down. 

She did not think this through. 

"Okay." Rey says under her breath. She's going to throw back the white 'troopers with the Force then have her saber handy if she needs it, but she's planning on freezing the bolt the 'trooper by the TIE shoots her way. If she doesn't stop over-analyzing this she's going to miss her window. 

She stands up and begins to run out, but someone's hands are around her biceps, making her thunk back into their chest. 

"Why are you like this." Kylo's deep voice whispers into her ear. She lets out a deep breath and throws the back of her head against his chest out of relief. For a split second she thought she was going to get thrown back into that cell. 

"You scared the hell out of me." Rey whispers back. 

"I'm getting you out of here before you do something stupid." 

Rey fights against his grip, needing to get to the TIE before it's too late, but Kylo is just as strong as he looks. She doesn't think about how his grip burns her skin, not from pain, but from sheer contact. 

She doesn't. 

"Don't make me knock you out." He threatens. Rey knows he's serious, so she stops protesting and relaxes in his hold. "Don't talk until we get to the hallway."

She nods and watches as Kylo looks around to make sure no one will spot them when they dart out. 

The coast must be clear because Kylo keeps his grip on Rey's left arm as he drags them both out of the hangar, shielding Rey from any 'troopers who could possibly be looking their way. Kylo timed it perfectly with the TIEs takeoff, so Rey doubts anyone noticed the two of them. 

The door slides shut behind him and Kylo immediately puts her against the wall.

Rey can feel her cheeks warming up as she studies his broad chest before her. He's looking down at her with confusion. 

"Why would you even think that was a good idea?" He mutters with little expression. 

"Those people need to be helped, Kylo. You and I can't just stand here and let this mass genocide happen. That doesn't make us any better than the people in charge of it." He's not touching her, but he might as well be considering his proximity is setting Rey's entire body on fire. 

His lips stare back at her, plump and pink as ever. 

Fucking hell.

"We can't do anything about this one. It's already in progress."

"You're a terrible person." She doesn't completely mean it, but she wants to hurt him a little bit. Give him a scathing comment to get at least some emotion from him so she can watch the way he reacts. 

"I know. You're too good of a person. Now put this on and go back to your quarters." He hands her her cloak and starts to walk away.

"You're not going to comment any further on what's happening? Just going to sweep it under the rug, huh. That's fine. Hundreds of people are being killed right now and you don't even seem fazed." She puts the cloak on and Kylo turns around to face her again, this time much further away. 

"If I could do something, I would. I commanded Hux to cease all military action and to report back to me when all deployed TIEs arrive back on the ship. That's the best I can do, Rey. If that's not enough, then I don't know what is."

"Maybe actually going to the planet to stop this!" She's genuinely heated now. Innocent lives being taken is something she cannot take lightly. Kylo's acting much too blase for her liking and it's really starting to piss her off. "Interfering with your own army and saving even just a few people! It's not that fucking hard to be a decent person." 

She regrets the last sentence as soon as it leaves her mouth and she covers it to show it. 

Kylo clenches his fists and takes a single step closer to her. "Leave. It. Alone." He seethes. "If I find out that you even try to go to Rendili I'll turn you into Hux myself." 

Rey knows they're just saying things to hurt each other at this point. She knows Kylo, knows he would never risk her life over a stupid argument. His words still don't sit well with her. 

"Fuck you, Kylo." She shakes her head and starts her trek back to her quarters. She hears Kylo scoff behind her as his footsteps get quieter with each step. 

"Fuck you." Rey whispers to herself. 

 

x

 

She's an idiot. 

A colossal tosser with a stupid mouth on her. 

Kylo was just trying to keep her safe and she had to go and blow up on him.

Yes, he was ignoring the literal massacre happening on Rendili, but it was so Rey wouldn't be found on the damn ship. When will she learn to keep her sharp tongue inside her closed mouth?

Rey throws on a long-sleeved black shirt and leggings, putting on a grey vest and black boots to complete the look. 

She's going to apologize to Kylo. 

She hasn't a clue where his quarters are, but she figures she can scope them out through the Force. Kylo will probably end up pissed that she left her room unsupervised. 

After clipping her saber to her belt, Rey throws on her cloak and heads out into the hallway. It's late but she knows Kylo's awake. He's always awake. 

She reaches out through the Force and feels around for his signature. It's not hard to find because of its brightness. He's only on the floor above her. This is easier than Rey presumed. 

She keeps a tab on where Kylo is then fumbles around the hallway for a staircase or a turbolift. Everything is just a door that looks exactly like the other ones. She hears footsteps around the corner and ducks behind a beam to stay out of eyesight. Two 'troopers pass by her without even turning their heads her way. She continues on her search until she finally reaches a turbolift. 

The door slides open and two more stormtroopers are staring back at her. 

Maybe if she pretends nothing is out of the ordinary, they won't say anything.

"It's the scavenger!" One of them says as she steps onto the lift. As soon as the door slides shut she infiltrates both of their minds.

"We never had this encounter." She says harshly. "You're going to forget this happened."

"We never had this encounter and we're going to forget this happened." Both of them say in unison. The door opens again and Rey steps off, taking off down the hall toward Kylo's quarters. 

As she feels around for him, she can't help but notice that there are other Force signatures surrounding his. That's strange. She wasn't aware of anyone on the ship who was Force-sensitive. 

Rey stops in front of a door that looks like every other door on this fucking ship. This has to be it. This is where all of the brightness is. 

She hesitantly knocks on the door and doesn't expect to receive someone as quickly as she does. 

"Well, aren't you pretty, showing up to Kylo's door this late." A caramel-skinned brunette purrs. 

Rey has never been more confused in her life. Not only is she confused, but she's slightly heartbroken. Who is this woman answering Kylo's door for him?

"Is he here?" She asks through her teeth. Be civil, she tells herself. 

"Depends. Why are you here?"

"Alluria, let her in." An unknown male voice says. "I want to see who it is." 

The woman, Alluria apparently, steps aside so Rey can enter. When she does she can feel her eyes widen in surprise. Kylo's quarters are huge. Not only are they huge, but they're housing eight people, all of whom have a drink in their hands. Rey's eyes land on Kylo's.

Suddenly, Rey feels very awkward. 

"Hi." She says weakly, giving a small wave. She removes her cloak and one of the men near Kylo spits the liquid back into his drink. 

"Fucking seriously, man? The scavenger?" 

"Shut up, Xyrias. She's here for business purposes." He retorts, standing up from the sofa he's seated on. Rey looks at the eyes on her. Five men she doesn't know and two women. 

These must be Kylo's knights. 

"Don't listen to anything they say to you." Kylo says, stretching. He sets his drink down on the small table in the center of the living area and walks toward her. "They're all drunk." 

"You must be too." Rey says, taking note of his less tense posture and glassy eyes. 

"Maybe a little." He gives her a grin and Rey thinks she can count on one hand the amount of times she's seen this man genuinely smile. It's endearing. 

"Can we talk?" She asks, digging the toe of her shoe into the floor. 

"Uh, yeah, sure. Um. Follow me." He leads her through the group of knights and into a separate room. When the lights turn on Rey realizes it's his bedroom. For god's sake. "What's up?"

Kylo is almost bubbly when he's drunk and it is something Rey never would have expected. She grins. 

"What?" He asks, leaning against one of the towering bed posts. He runs a hand through his hair and it takes everything Rey has not to jump him then and there. 

"You're a cute drunk." Abort. That's not the word she meant to use. 

"I don't think anyone has ever described me as 'cute'." He laughs. 

"It's kind of disconcerting." 

"Sorry, I'll get mean and angry." He furrows his brow but it's interrupted by his own smile. Rey is definitely going to die soon. 

"I'm sorry about earlier. I wanted to come apologize. I know you were just trying to keep me safe." She seems to be able to look anywhere but Kylo's face right now. "You aren't a terrible person. Entirely, anyway."

Silent sits between them and after a few seconds Rey finally has the courage to look him in the eye. He's staring at her with a look of awe. 

"Don't look at me like that." She says.

"Like what?"

"Like you're in awe of me." 

"What if I am?" 

Rey doesn't really know what to say to that. 

"You've never watched yourself fight. You're incredible." Oh, she does not like the route this conversation is going. "Verbally and physically, you're someone I can fight against and it's equal sides. I haven't found that with anyone else. I say something awful to you and you just throw it right back. I push you back with the Force and you push back harder. This dynamic isn't anything ordinary." 

If Rey wasn't already speechless, she is now. 

"I'm probably just drunk, but you feel it too, don't you?" 

What is she supposed to say? Yes, I'm in love with you? Please don't ever leave me?

"I... I do." She stammers. Maker, she's pathetic. 

He steps closer to her. "You drive me fucking crazy." 

Rey literally gapes at him. She feels so useless, her arms limp at her sides. Her mind betrays her and decides to say "how so?"

He takes another step closer. They're only a foot apart at the most, and Rey doesn't know if she wants to back up against the wall to create distance or close it off completely. 

"You're so stubborn. If you're not the best at something, you have to practice until you are. If you're not right, you'll argue until you are. No one ever tests me like you do because they're afraid of me. I don't think you have a single ounce of fear in you, and I don't know what to do with that." He looks down at her and she can tell he's had multiple drinks already. This is just drunk Kylo spouting off nonsense. She remembers the drunk men at a cantina she, Poe, and Finn briefed on Corellia once and how the men were complimenting her left and right. This isn't any different. 

"You're drunk, Kylo Ren."

"And you're going to be my empress one day, Rey." 

"Oh, am I?" 

"Yes." 

"And what will that entail?" She smirks. She might as well play along with his game. 

"Red dresses and all the power you could ever want." 

"I've never worn a dress before." At least not that she can remember. 

"I bet you'd look ethereal in one." 

The thing between them, the thing that binds them and keeps bringing them together, pulls tightly. Rey is stepping forward to meet Kylo and she thinks this is it. This is fate's red thread finally getting untangled. 

"You're not fucking this girl, Kylo." A man's voice bursts through the door. Rey snaps out of her trance and Kylo must do the same. "Oh, good. Your clothes are on. You can do better than her and we all know it." 

"Tare, I am about ten seconds away from murdering you so brutally that no one will even be able to identify your body." Kylo says, running his hand down his face. 

Moment officially ruined. 

What was Rey even thinking? She cannot do this. Kylo's drunk and just taking advantage of the fact that Rey came to him. 

"Just looking out for you." The man, Tare, Rey learned, stands there awkwardly for a couple seconds before retreating back to the living area. He leaves the door open. 

"Like I said. Don't listen to anything they say." 

"I knew everyone here thought highly of me." She jokes. 

"Don't take it personally. They only know Snoke's perception of you. They don't know you could actually kick all of their asses in a battle."

Rey raises an eyebrow. "Your knights must be poorly trained then, Master." 

Kylo looks like he freezes for half a second, but then acts like nothing happened. "We're equals, don't call me that."

Equals.

If she does accept his hand, accepts the position of Empress of the First Order, they will be true equals. 

She hates herself for finding that offer appealing. 

The Resistance would put a price on her head almost as big as Kylo Ren's. 

"You talked about us creating balance within the Force a while ago. If I'm your empress and we're equals, that will create balance?" She wonders aloud.

"Light and Dark ruling the galaxy would create balance, yes." He confirms.

"But you don't rule the galaxy. Just the First Order. And I don't stand behind the First Order or any of its practices." 

He looks down at her and is silent for a few moments. "We'll get the galaxy on our side." 

"You look like you have a plan." Rey says, concerned. 

"I've had one since I met your Light." 

 

x

 

"No one has said a word to you about me escaping my cell?" Rey asks Kylo. 

She's sitting on his kitchen counter as he sits on a stool at the island across from her. 

"Nothing. Whoever did it wanted it to be kept from me, evidently."

"I ran into Stormtroopers a couple days ago when I was trying to finds your quarters. I tricked their minds so they wouldn't remember me. They recognized me, so they must have orders to hunt me down."

"This is why I wanted you to stay in your quarters. You can't be moving around the ship. It isn't safe." 

The synapses in Rey's brain concoct a theory that she wasn't expecting. 

"Kylo." She says warily. "Hux gave orders to completely eliminate an entire group of Force-sensitives on Rendili." 

He looks at her like she said something strange. "We established that."

"What if he's trying to eradicate all Force-sensitives, including us. What if he's behind my capture." 

Kylo sits back in his chair and pinches his bottom lip between his thumb and index finger. "He was here when you would've been on your way to the ship. I received reports from him." 

"Was it his voice?" She asks sternly. Kylo doesn't respond. "Kylo Ren, please tell me you've thought that maybe the man you bicker with every fucking day was deceiving you." 

"I didn't find it plausible. I would've known-"

"He has the military expertise, the Stormtroopers, and the motives behind killing me. Are we stupid or is he brilliant." 

"He's not brilliant. He's an asshole." Kylo stands up and moves toward Rey. 

"You're an asshole and you're brilliant." She says pointedly. Kylo cocks his head. 

"I'm brilliant?" He questions, a knowing look on his face. Rey's sincerely hoping he doesn't come any closer.

"Yes. Very." 

"I'm an asshole?" He steps closer. 

"Yes." She crosses her arms across her chest. "A huge one."

He gives her a smile. "Apparently not enough of one. You tolerate me."

Rey scoffs and rolls her eyes. Stray strands of hair from her top knot fall into her eyes. "That's one word for it."

"Oh, you have a different one?" 

"We need to talk about Hux."

"Yes, we do."

"We need to find out if he's actually trying to destroy Force-sensitives." 

"Yes." Kylo reaches out and tucks her strand of hair behind her ear. Rey recoils. "What?"

"Don't do that." She says quickly, avoiding eye contact. 

"Do what?" 

"Touch me." The way she says it, she isn't sure if she's asking him to touch her or if she really is just telling him what not to do.

"That didn't sound like you wanted me to stop." He lightly moves her legs apart and wedges his body between them. He's looking down at her and she thinks her heartbeat is vibrating off the walls it's so loud. "Tell me to stop and I will." 

His hands ghost her hips then up her sides until both are gently holding either side of her jawline. He tilts her head up so she has to make eye contact with him. 

She knows she needs to tell him to stop, but every fiber of her being is screaming for more. More touching. More hands. More friction. 

"Do you want me to stop?" He leans in and Rey is frozen in place. 

"No." She finds herself whispering. Her hands are gripping the edge of the counter so hard that her knuckles are white. His lips are so close to her own that Rey can almost feel their plushness. Just a little closer and-

Kylo pulls away and steps out from between her legs. 

"I'll get to the bottom of whatever Hux is doing, don't worry." He winks at her like he didn't just drench her pants then turns around to go sit back at the counter. 

Rey blinks, her hands still gripping the countertop. 

"You..." She trails off. "You're an asshole."

"So I've heard." He runs his hand through his hair and leans back a little. Rey can't shake the feeling of his broad form placed between her legs. She has a feeling that's going to be imagery for activities later in the day. 

"I'm going to choose a terrible time to ruin you, Kylo. Just wait." 

"Ruin me how?" He challenges.

"You'll see."


	7. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry for the hiatus. I studied in Paris over the summer, had the semester from hell in college, and to top it off, there's slight heterosexual smut in this chapter and I'm a lesbian so I was stuck for literally three months (if it's awkward that's why omg). I also apologize for how short this chapter is. It felt right to end it where I did but I'll shut up now. My resolution for the year is to work on this more often!!! We'll see if I keep up with it.

"Again." Kylo's voice echoes off the walls of the throne room. 

Five blaster bolts shoot at Rey at once and she easily deflects all of them using both ends of her saber. 

Sweat is beading along her hairline and she wonders how long they've been at this. It's been at least two hours. She's starting to get tired. 

"Kylo, I'm drained." She groans. Xyrias shoots a bolt toward her and she half-heartedly freezes it. Kylo decided his knights should be the ones shooting at her to make it more realistic. Rey thinks Kylo just wanted to stand there and bark orders at people. 

"That's why I'm pushing you. You need to be able to endure more than this." Kylo grabs a blaster from the floor and shoots at her and she angrily shoves it back at him with the Force. He freezes it and sends it flying to the wall, which is evidently immune to blaster fire. "You're starting to channel the Dark side. Switch to Djem So." He ignites his saber and charges at her, but Rey is quickly blocking any advances he attempts. Power surges through her as their sabers connect and she gives hers a hard shove, sending Kylo back a couple feet. "Again. But close your eyes this time." 

"Excuse me?" Rey looks at him, incredulous. "I'm not letting you charge at me with a light saber while my eyes are closed." 

"I'm not going to kill you. I would've done that by now if that was my goal." He says, rolling his eyes. 

"He'd need someone else to jerk off to." One of the Knights, Vrei, snorts. 

Rey's eyes widen and she half expects Kylo to choke out the woman. Instead he clenches his jaw and looks at the ceiling. "Will any of you ever shut up?" 

"Not likely." Alluria says back. She shoots her blaster at Rey, guard completely down, and almost hits her. Rey deflects it just in time. "I like this one. She's cute." 

"Stop hitting on his apprentice. He's going to get jealous." Xyrias says lowly. 

Vor'en is about to say something before Kylo cuts him off. 

"All of you need to leave before I kill one of you." 

"Told you." Xyrias mutters to Alluria. Alluria just shrugs and gives Rey a wink. Rey blushes. 

Once the door to the room has shut behind the knights, it's just Kylo and Rey and the stars around them. 

"I can't believe you actually let your knights talk to you like that. I figured anyone who breathed the wrong way around you would get their neck snapped." Rey jokes, shutting down her saber. 

Kylo sheaths his saber and clips it to his belt. Rey notices a blaster in a holster next to it. "They're an exception. I've known them forever."

"Still. Kind of shocking. Also, apprentice?" She teases, crossing her arms. "I thought I was going to be an empress."

Kylo's expression grows more serious. "You're my equal. You're not my apprentice." Rey debates whether or not to ask him if his Knights know the extent of their relationship. She decides against it, changing the subject instead.

"I didn't know you carried a blaster." She points to the gun and Kylo looks down at it. 

"I don't. I just brought it for this session." He unclips it and holds it like it was made exclusively for his hand. "It's usually in my quarters." 

"Bet I'm a better shot than you." Rey challenges. She uses the Force to grab the blaster from Kylo and smiles smugly when it's in her hand. 

"My father was Han Solo. No one is a better shot than me." Rey's ears prick forward at the mention of Han, not expecting Kylo to throw his name out so casually and with such little malice behind it. 

"I wouldn't expect you to be so uncivilized." 

"Well, sometimes a lightsaber isn't discreet enough. If I'm undercover somewhere, I have a blaster on me." 

Rey bursts out laughing. 

"What?" Kylo asks, confused. 

"Undercover? You go undercover?" She grins.

"Yes, why?" Kylo looks genuinely confused as to why Rey finds this concept so hilarious.

"You just seem so..." She scrunches up her nose and smiles even wider. "Dorky."

Kylo crosses his arms and puts his weight on his right side. "Dorky? I am Emperor of the First Order and Master of the Knights of Ren. I'm the Jedi Killer. I take my job in this division very seriously and execute it very well." 

Rey just raises an eyebrow while suppressing a giggle. 

"Give me that." Kylo grabs the blaster back through the Force and Rey grunts in protest. 

"Hey! I was going to use that." 

"So was I." He shoots and Rey's instincts kick in before the bolt has even left the gun. It sizzles idly between them and Rey cocks her head. 

"I'm not as bad as you think I am." She sends the bolt to the wall and it fades out when it makes contact. 

"Then do it with your eyes closed. If you can do that, you can sense what's coming behind you."

Rey contemplates refusing and arguing with him but decides against it. He probably knows what he's talking about. 

She shuts her eyes. "If you kill me I'm going to murder you." She threatens. Kylo's small laugh echos throughout the room. 

"I'll hold you to that." The room is quiet and Rey reaches out through the Force to feel for Kylo's movement. She feels his hand on the hilt of the blaster, his index finger curled around the trigger. This is much simpler than anticipated. Rey readies herself as Kylo's finger twitches to move and the second it does she is locating the bolt and freezing it mid-air. 

Kylo huffs through a smile and Rey opens her eyes to look at the energy between them. "You know you're more powerful than you think, right?" Kylo tells her before flicking the bolt to disappear against the wall. 

"Only because I somehow gain all of your strength through this bond." 

"Maybe I gain yours?" He counters. Rey had never thought of it that way. She doubts that's the case, though.

"You went to a Jedi Academy and were Snoke's apprentice for years. I know nothing but what you've taught me. And Luke, I guess. There's no way I have any strength to give in the first place."

Kylo stares back at her for a moment before Rey feels him reach for his saber again. Hers is out instantly, lighting up her eyes in front of him. Kylo's red reflects on his face and Rey notices how the angry color illuminates the scar on his face; the one she gave him. "Show me how powerful you are. Channel both sides of the Force." 

Rey remembers meditating in the forest on Devaron and channelling feelings from both the light and the dark. Remembers how Finn brings out the light in her, Leia doing the same. The life forms around her could be felt by their light emanating off of them. Feelings of joy and content flood her body, and when she resurfaces she finds herself smiling at Kylo. 

"I can't think of anything that makes me channel the dark." She admits. 

"Thinking of me murdering my father and trying to kill your friends doesn't affect you negatively." He says, no question to it. Rey shakes her head. 

"Everything about you is light to me." She says, voice soft. 

"That's bullshit." 

Their sabers are angrily humming between them but the air around them is anything but indignant. 

"It makes me angry that Snoke would ever take advantage of you." She clenches her jaw and grips her saber tightly, moving into a battle stance. Kylo mirrors her. "That Luke gave up on you and thought about ending you in your sleep. It makes me livid when I think of people hurting you." Once it's said out loud, Rey understands the weight of her admission. 

Kylo doesn't react, instead lunging at her and forcing her to fight out her emotions. 

She holds steady and presses her crackling saber against his, pushing him off of her and taking a swing at him. They go at it for a few more minutes before Rey has him locked in place and her breath is heaving. Their sabers ignite the air around them as they look at each other, anger in both of their eyes. Rey is startled when Kylo shuts off his saber and drops it to the ground, his eyes never leaving her own. She apprehensively shuts down her saber as well, keeping a firm grip on it. 

"Why did you-" She's cut off by Kylo grabbing her face and crushing his lips against hers. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

She'd be insane not to kiss this man back, she realizes. So she does. Hard. The emperor of the First Order, well, New Order, is kissing her and she can't for the life of her remember what they were doing before this moment. Are they even experiencing real time? Surely Rey has hit her head again and is hallucinating.

The hungry mouth attached to hers says otherwise. He kisses her like he's waited his whole life to do it and intends to do it for the next three. His hands move to grip the hair on the back of her head and Rey remembers she's still holding onto her saber. She drops it to the ground and uses both hands to cradle Kylo's face. This could go on for an eternity and she wouldn't mind. Surely, the galaxy wouldn't mind either. 

Kylo breaks off the kiss and rests his slick forehead against her own, panting. Rey waits for a snide remark, but nothing comes. Instead, she's met with words that sit heavily within her. 

"You're too much a part of me to leave my side, Rey." She removes herself from him but keeps eye contact. "Please, be my Empress."

Without thinking, Rey finds herself nodding. "Okay." She says softly, gently touching his face. "Okay."

 

x

 

Rey lies in bed and stares at the ceiling. 

Rey, Empress of the New Order, Equal to Kylo Ren, Grey Jedi.

She swallows thickly and squeezes her eyes shut. Sleep is nowhere in sight and she knows it's early morning. Images of her in red dresses and jewels cross her mind and she sits up and looks around the room. Darkness is all her eye can see. Is that what her life is going to be like from now on? Kylo and she are grey, but where there is light, there is darkness. If they truly want to achieve balance, darkness must prevail. 

What will her friends think when they find out she actually accepted the position? It's not like she's marrying Kylo Ren. She's just standing beside him at the throne. 

She feels the scar on her forehead and smiles to herself. Maybe they are each other's opposite. 

She remembers the way he kissed her just hours earlier and feels her face get hot. Of everyone in the galaxy, Kylo chose her to be the one he kisses; the one he sits next to at the throne.

The thought of going further with him pops into her mind. 

She hasn't been touched intimately since... well... ever. Any contact she has had with someone has been less than passionate. How would her body react to his touch? Why is she thinking about this again? 

A familiar voice sounds off in her head. 

'Go to sleep.'

She freezes and wonders if Kylo knows what she is thinking about. 

'I can't.'

'Too busy thinking about me?'

'Absolutely not.' She makes a disgusted face even though no one can see it. 

'It's early enough. Come to my quarters.'

'I'm not doing that.' She says like it's the most ridiculous idea she's ever heard.

Ten minutes later Rey is standing in front of Kylo's door.

Hand raised to knock, Rey jumps a little when Kylo opens the door. "Kriff, Kylo." She breathes, hand to her chest. 

"You should have known it was coming." 

She rolls her eyes at his response and takes in his appearance. Her brain registers that he is shirtless and wearing low-waisted, black pajama pants and suddenly she does not want to be standing there. 

"You know, there are adult things to do that can get rid of that sensation." He says lowly. Rey snaps back to reality and steps inside. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." She throws the cloak over a chair and avoids eye contact at all costs. 

"I mean, I can always demonstrate." He steps closer to her and Rey grunts. 

"Did you summon me for a booty call?" She crosses her arms and looks at his face. He's smiling.

"Maybe." 

"Asshole."

"I'm joking, I just wanted to talk. I have some ideas concerning the New Order." That makes Rey perk up. 

"Really? Like what?" 

Kylo takes a seat at the kitchen island and grabs his datapad. Rey sits down next to him and watches as he scrolls through something, presumably to find his thoughts. "So we need a strategy to overthrow the First Order. That's step two." 

Rey furrows her brow. "What was step one?" 

"Getting you on board." 

Oh. Right.

"I was thinking we need the Resistance on our side first. We're powerful, but not capable of wiping out an entire military."

"The Resistance isn't going to welcome you with open arms. They probably won't want me now, either. Joining you tarnishes my reputation a little." Rey laughs but knows it's true. Going back would entail serious interrogation. 

"They probably won't be too keen on helping someone who is trying to rule the galaxy and not let freedom flow through it. What they don't understand is that each sector, or even planets within sectors, will have specific codes of conduct and laws. It's not one general set of laws that apply to all regions. That would be tyranny." 

"Yeah, every planet has its own way of living. That's smart." She eyes him skeptically. "How long have you been planning this?"

"Since I met you." 

Rey picks at her nail and nods. It makes sense, but she doesn't want to think about it too much. 

"I'm going to tell Hux you joined the First Order as my Empress." The statement makes Rey's stomach drop. 

"No." She says immediately. "He'll kill me."

"I am not going to let him kill you, Rey." Kylo is serious and Rey believes him. "You deserve to walk around this ship freely. I also want to see you in a dress." He smirks.

Rey rolls her eyes. "Am I allowed to fight people if they try to hurt me?"

Kylo gives her a ridiculous look. "This is the First Order, is that even a question?" 

"You're right." She smiles sheepishly. "Dumb thing to ask." 

"The New Order's policy on violence is still unwritten." Kylo runs a hand through his hair and taps something on the datapad. " However, I would like to avoid mass genocide. And random attacks on people unless it's absolutely necessary." He adds. 

"Violence should be used against extremists who want us dead." Rey surprises herself with the proposal. Kylo must be surprised too because his eyebrows are higher than normal. 

"We can implement that." Rey watches him type the idea onto the screen. "Prisoners?"

"Taken prisoner for any unlawful activity, has a right to stand trial, can be punished anywhere from slavery to death." 

"You're darker than you let on." He says under his breath with a smirk. "Should we keep Stormtroopers or let them live their own lives?"

Rey has to think about this one. "We will need a military, assuming the Resistance doesn't want to associate with us. However, if we have support throughout the galaxy, which will be hard to get, we can take anyone willing to fight for us." 

"But in the beginning we're just going to beg my mother to help us eliminate Hux." Kylo says pointedly.

"Yes, pretty much." Rey laughs. "Who knew politics could be fun." 

"Not me. My mother never made it fun." 

"You make it bearable, though." 

He looks up at her and Rey can't read his expression. "You make a lot of things more bearable." He says softly. 

"Don't go soft on me, Emperor Ren. I like you for your hard exterior." She jokes. 

"You like me?" She knows he's kidding so she scrunches up her nose.

"Don't be an idiot." 

Kylo stands up and pulls out Rey's chair in one movement. Before she can say anything he's standing in front of her, thighs brushing her knees. Sometimes she forgets how big he is compared to her. He puts his hands on her thighs and runs them up to her waist. 

"This is a compromising position." She says weakly. 

"You really do have to analyze everything, don't you?" He bends forward and moves his hand so he's tilting her chin up. 

"Unfortunately." She's not being flirty, but it's not because she doesn't want to be. It's out of sheer nervousness. 

"I'm making you nervous." Kylo states. Damn the Force and Kylo's attachment to it. Also, damn herself for not closing off her mind well enough.

"We need to work on closing off my mind. You read into it too much." Kylo makes an annoyed face that mirrors one Leia has made countless times. 

"I can't read if you want me to kiss you or not. You're not doing too terribly." 

Rey swallows thickly. Is he stupid? If he can feel her nervousness, why can't he feel the sheer lust emanating from her at all times when he's around?

"Try now." Rey lets the floodgates open and imagines Kylo's mouth on her neck, his hand gripping her hair roughly. He presses his body into hers and kisses her mouth and Rey does the same, the Force flowing energetically between them. Kylo moves a hand to Rey's backside and squeezes, causing Rey to moan lightly into the kiss. She imagines him trailing his fingers down her front until they reach the top of her leggings. He dips them into the waistband and moves until he finds the spot she's begging him to touch.

She refocuses on Kylo and he's staring at her intensely. 

Within seconds she's being lifted off the chair and pressed against the wall by strong arms. Kylo mimics her thoughts and puts his mouth on hers. This time when he kisses her, he must know that she's not going to run. It's not as frantic. His hands push her hips into the wall and he presses into her lightly. 

Rey grazes her nails down his torso and hums into him. This man is chiseled. She can feel the bumps of scars along his sides and chest and she briefly wonders how many are her fault. 

"Don't worry about it." He mumbles into her, seeming unhappy that he had to break the kiss to speak. 

Rey just cups his face gently and leans into the kiss, hoping to get her point across. She thinks she does. They stand there for an amount of time that Rey isn't certain of, time simply ceasing to exist when she's connected to Kylo like this. 

She snaps out of a trance when Kylo moves his hand to her ass and smirks. "You're little, but this is a great ass." He gives it a squeeze and Rey's mouth falls open, though with a smile. 

"Well, Emperor Ren. My ass is yours." 

This elicits a wicked smile from him and his other hand moves to the opposite side of her rear. 

"You train a lot, don't you?" 

"I do. I got bored on the Resistance base. Everyone treated me either like a god or a freak. Didn't want to be surrounded by that all day." 

"I know that feeling." He starts moving them away from the wall and towards his bedroom. Rey's senses heighten and she can feel the nerves flowing through her. "Relax, Sweetheart." He kisses her neck. "We're only doing what you want to do." 

That eases some of Rey's nerves, but she's still intimidated by the large man ushering her to bed. He's probably experienced in every way possible. She doesn't want to make a fool of herself. 

They cross the threshold, and almost immediately, Rey is being pushed back onto the large mattress. It's dark in the room, the only light streaming in from the main room outside. She can feel her hair fanning out around her and wonders if she looks as ridiculous as she feels. 

"You look perfect." Kylo says, crawling on top of her and moving them up the bed. 

Rey blushes. 

Kylo's right hand moves to her waist as his left props his body up. He kisses her again and she can already feel how wet she is for him, even though he's barely touched her. The thought embarrasses her and Kylo instantly senses it through their bond. 

"That is the last thing you should ever be embarrassed about." He says while kissing her neck. Chills race down Rey's spine at the feeling of him murmuring into her skin. His knee is slotted between her thighs and she could scream from how badly she needs attention there. Are they moving too fast? They only had their first kiss today. 

"You said we'd only do what I wanted to do?" She squeaks when Kylo nibbles on her earlobe. 

"Yes, Empress."

For some reason, that title floods her body with lust. 

"Touch me." She breathes. It's desperate and she'll worry about the shame later. Right now she just needs his hands all over her. 

Kylo touches her instantly, as if he would die without doing so. His free hand moves to her left breast and he gently massages it all while kissing her lips. Rey arches into his hand and grips at his hair. This elicits a noise from him that leaves Rey absolutely soaking. 

"I've been thinking about doing this since you had me put leggings on your concussed ass." Kylo mutters. 

"Let's not talk about that traumatizing experience right now." She responds. Instead of pushing the subject, Kylo is silent as he slinks a hand up Rey's top and over her breast. She's wearing a breast band, but he's still closer to her skin than he was before. 

"These are wonderful." Kylo says, referring to her chest. He snatches the band out from underneath her shirt and tosses it somewhere off the bed. His fingers move to work around her protruding nipple and he lightly pinches it, making Rey gasp. "The noises you make for me, Rey." He observes before kissing her on the mouth again. 

Rey clamps her thighs around Kylo's lone one and tries her hardest not to start grinding against him. They stay like that for a few minutes, Kylo's hand under her shirt working her up and Rey's legs holding onto Kylo's for dear life. 

Eventually, Kylo gets tired of the fabric barrier between them. "Can I take this off?" He asks, eyes wide. Rey nods and her shirt is gone in seconds. Kylo replaces his hand with his mouth and Rey's back arches off the bed in response. 

"Oh, so you like that?" He teases. She didn't know she had a thing for teasing until this very moment. 

"Shut up and do it again." She commands. Kylo raises an eyebrow before dipping back down to mouth at her breast. 

If this act feels this good, she can't imagine what Kylo going down on her would feel like. 

Kylo snickers against her chest and she swats at him. 

"You're projecting, Sweetheart, I can't help it." He moves back to her lips and kisses her gently. "But I'm glad you're thinking about it. I can't be the only one."

Rey feels her cheeks heat up. "Not tonight." She says quickly. 

"Not tonight." Kylo repeats. 

"It is kind of rude that you still have your pants on, you know." 

"We're both shirtless. That means you should be pant-less too." He counters. He dips his fingers under the waistband of Rey's leggings and before she can say anything, he's pulling them down her waist. Thank the maker her underwear stays up. 

"Your turn." Rey says slyly. Kylo smirks and stands up from the bed, shucking his pants off and tossing them to the floor. Rey swallows thickly when she glances down at Kylo's tight boxers and sees how aroused he is. 

"You finished?" He jokes, climbing back on top of her. 

"Shut up." She kisses him then. He smiles into it and presses his arousal against her thigh. 

"This is what you do to me, Rey. Every. Damn. Day." 

"I'm glad I'm not the only one being affected." She boldly grabs his hand and places his at her core so he can feel just how wet she is for him. "Every time I see you." 

Kylo's breath hitches in his throat as he trails his index finger up her slit through her panties. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Rey whispers, leaning in for another kiss. They hold it for a while, Kylo's finger continuing its teasing trail up and down her, soaking her even more. When they finally break apart, Rey knows she's going to need more. Maybe now, but she's not sure she's ready. 

"Only when you want." Kylo assures her. "But I do enjoy feeling how much I affect you. Stay with me tonight. Please."

Rey looks up at him and sees the pleading in his eyes. She'll stay with Kylo Ren tonight. 

Maybe tomorrow night too.


End file.
